rate_review Reviews

It was good but i think Kagome gave in a little too quickly. othwerwise it was fine and entertaining ^_^

the story is real good and i can not wait for the next chapter and you are doing a real good job. up date soon.

that chapter was great! but it was a little too short......can't wait to read the next chapter ^_^

i love this story, i check like everyday for a update. keep it up, please......

awesome job

You really did as well as the first chapter ^_^ i love how Miroku hot his groping in even while Kagome was upset.

Have I said I LOVE this fic! B/C I DO! I think you're doing a great job on this fic! Keep up the awesome work, cuz I can't wait to read more!

Ok first off, you have a great story idea but you need to work on a few things in order to pull this off.

1) expand and describe. Do not be afraid of detail
2) slow down your story, take your time, explain the situations the characters moods, thoughts, feelings, everything! but do not make it so slow that it's agonizing to read.
3) work on your grammer and punctuation. And also your choice of vocabulary, because you repeat the same descriptive word over and over.
4) You characters are EXTREMELY OOC. Although funny, try to keep them a little closer to character... you did fairly well near the end of the second chapter though!

SO just work on a few of these and your writing - plus this fanfiction!- will greatly improve. And in no way is this mean to be a flame, it's just meant to be helpful critisim. So I apologize if I sound mean.

Keep up the good work ^^

I~Plead~Obsession

I love how the story sounds, I can't wait to read more so I hope you udpate asap please.

Well, this is well-written and all. But seems kind of wierd.

I mean, Sesshomaru takes Kagome on a promise that he will spare Inuyasha's life.
But then, Inuyasha loses Kagome, won't he be alone and lose will to live anyway.
I don't really get it, probably have to wait for more chapters.
Keep it up.

Nice job on the second chapter...^_^...

~Darkened: Com on Kags!...You got Yasha!!!
~Yasha: Yeah Kagome how could you for get me?
~darkened: I want Sessy!!!!
~Yasha: Why do you want him, when you can have me Darkened?..
~Darkened: NO!! I want Sessy!!
~Yasha: I'm BETTER!!! I have the ears!!!
~Darkened: SO!!!...Sessy has that tail!!!
~Kagome: I thought you loved me Yasha!!!
~Yasha: You want my brother wench!!
~Darkened: You can keep her Yasha and I'll take GOOD care of my Sessy!!!...

~Sesshoumaru: Foolish Half breed neither of the humans want you..*Evil smirk*