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July 10, 2014 at 12:00 AM
At first I was thinking I would abandon this story after chapter 1, but decided to trudge on. I’m so glad I did. Your writing style is new for me, as I’m not a fan of first person point of view, and then with the lack of spacing it was a bit difficult to read. But the more you wrote, the better your writing became, specifically after chapter 11, and your story has an interesting plot.
The one thing that annoyed me about this story, but what ultimately makes it golden, is Sesshoumaru’s voice in the point of view. It is written exactly like a female, and at first I found it annoying and difficult, but as I continued reading, it seemed to work quite well for the pov you were creating for his character as a born woman. If it had been written in his typical manner in the series, it may not have worked on passing him off as a female that well, in my mind’s eye.
I enjoyed the first ending better. Naraku had distinctly different personalities from pre and post death between the versions, and it made his character difficult to believe and follow, particularly in the second version. I felt the first version had a fitting plot and end for the theme of the story. Glad to see she kept the twins! It was noble in a way for her to keep her kin and deliver them before finally attaining her wish of becoming a man. That was a nice settling ending for me.
The ending of Frozen Kiss is brilliant & chapter 11 made me feel bad for Naraku. He got his wish but there is no love for him.
Overall the original version is a good story!
The one thing that annoyed me about this story, but what ultimately makes it golden, is Sesshoumaru’s voice in the point of view. It is written exactly like a female, and at first I found it annoying and difficult, but as I continued reading, it seemed to work quite well for the pov you were creating for his character as a born woman. If it had been written in his typical manner in the series, it may not have worked on passing him off as a female that well, in my mind’s eye.
I enjoyed the first ending better. Naraku had distinctly different personalities from pre and post death between the versions, and it made his character difficult to believe and follow, particularly in the second version. I felt the first version had a fitting plot and end for the theme of the story. Glad to see she kept the twins! It was noble in a way for her to keep her kin and deliver them before finally attaining her wish of becoming a man. That was a nice settling ending for me.
The ending of Frozen Kiss is brilliant & chapter 11 made me feel bad for Naraku. He got his wish but there is no love for him.
Overall the original version is a good story!
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July 10, 2007 at 12:00 AM
finally got back from the trip but i have to leave again.
fole the chapter Naraku doesn't like when he loses does he??? it so funny!
fole the chapter Naraku doesn't like when he loses does he??? it so funny!
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July 10, 2007 at 12:00 AM
love thw wjle story !!!!!!!
i glad to see you are making a squel. will you post it in this section????
i glad to see you are making a squel. will you post it in this section????
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July 4, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Good job, you are a great writer.
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June 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
can't wait so see when naraku will demaned his uke prise!!!!!!!
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June 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Chiyouta smiled at me, a bowl of steaming soup in her hands. I was less than thrilled.
so funny poor sesshy!!
so funny poor sesshy!!
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June 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
well at least i know now who's behind will hurt all the time!!!!!!!!
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June 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
that is enmotional blackmail!!!
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June 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
wele well it seams like sesshy is destined to be uke!!!!or not.
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June 22, 2007 at 12:00 AM
...Naraku and Sesshomaru (female)...I would have done it the other way around but...I didn't write the story, This is one of the...Well THE first fanfic I read with alternate endings, so I praise you for that, the story line has me checking to see if you updated everyday, and the lemon scenes...Well maybe have Sess be a little more gentle? 25 out of 10