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November 6, 2009 at 12:00 AM
My fav story
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June 7, 2009 at 12:00 AM
i wasn't sure how much i'd enjoy this in the beginning. at first i was frustrated because he was too young for sesshoumaru to take lol but my patience paid off. and it paid off well.
and now i can't believe i thought i wouldn't like it too much. i've fallen in love with it if anything.
can't wait for an update ;]
and now i can't believe i thought i wouldn't like it too much. i've fallen in love with it if anything.
can't wait for an update ;]
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June 4, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Can't wait to read more. This story is very different and I really like it for that.
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June 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Really a great story i think I started reading this a while back and it was really cool to see it updated! Please lets have some more soon!
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May 9, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Ahh!!! You did not just leave it there!!!! It was getting to a good part!!! Well, please update soon! Can't wait!
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April 22, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Great chapter!!!! I can’t wait to read the next chapter UPDATE SOON.
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April 22, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Awww another cute chapter! Can hardly wait to see where this is going. Naraku and Bankotsu being brothers never occured to me, I always think of them as father/son. Please keep updating!!!
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April 13, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Great chapter!!!! I can’t wait to read the next chapter so please keep on writing and UPDATE SOON.
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April 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Keep in mind that I'm reading this cause you're a cool person! I'm not really a fan of Naraku/Sesshomaru or vice versa, but to be honest, how you have this surprised me. When you said it was a N/S yaoi/shota I figured Sesshomaru would be the younger one, but it makes sense this way. O.O
As for the more technical aspect... I think how you have it present is good but it seems to move too fast for me. For example, the reader is just kind of thrown into the story when Sesshomaru suddenly just shows up, ready and willing to adopt Bankotsu and Naraku. He doesn't really seem to think much of it either. I'm not sure if you're going for a PWP or a longer, chaptered story but I'd advise slowing it down a bit or giving the reader a longer, more intense description of what's going on when things happen.
All in all, and I can't really say this for sure cause like I said, I don't read S/N fics, but I think this is pretty original - what with the yaoi/shota and Sesshomaru being the adult while Naraku is the child XD (finds that so cute and amusing).
-DM
As for the more technical aspect... I think how you have it present is good but it seems to move too fast for me. For example, the reader is just kind of thrown into the story when Sesshomaru suddenly just shows up, ready and willing to adopt Bankotsu and Naraku. He doesn't really seem to think much of it either. I'm not sure if you're going for a PWP or a longer, chaptered story but I'd advise slowing it down a bit or giving the reader a longer, more intense description of what's going on when things happen.
All in all, and I can't really say this for sure cause like I said, I don't read S/N fics, but I think this is pretty original - what with the yaoi/shota and Sesshomaru being the adult while Naraku is the child XD (finds that so cute and amusing).
-DM
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April 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Wow, pretty good! I cant wait to see what else is coming.