rate_review Reviews

cool out line of the story

im going to be straight forward to yah.

i really dont like ur story too much. i mean the plot is like any other high school story. and then ur grammar is horrendous. and the whole thing is really confusing cuz i cant tell when sumones talking or doing an action. u should put quotation marks to clear it up.

Hmmm... That is one chunk of writing. Please do not take this as I hate the story because that is not true. You need to space out your paragraphs and break some of that down.

When people (characters) are talking, that is one paragraph by itself. The response would be a whole new one. There also needs to be at least a line between each paragraph. And, a little extra space whenever you swap POV would help clarify that and keep your work looking so crowded and discouraging.

Don't give up writing, please. Keep trying your best, and please take my advice. I really would like to help you.

Have a good day.

Mistake no.1- WHY IS IT ADRESSED TO MEEEEE? (Yes I have the soul of a immature 11 yr. old when it comes to these things.) Mistake no.2 It's called the word damn. and finallyyyyyyy... mistake no.3 It's Porche.

Flattery? Oh don't be a bitch. Mrs. Lazy yeh that's RIGHT So respect it honey.