schedule
November 13, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I am pleasantly surprised that just the first two chapters of this story have captivated me. I have read the second chapter (and I must say, to use the slang, it was HAWT!) about 5 times now.
I am a stickler for correct grammar usage, spelling and punctuation, and I will usually rip a piece to shreds, before I can ever get into the storyline. This fic has actually enchanted me to the extent that I am checking AFF and MediaMiner on a daily basis, just to make sure that I do not miss out on any new chapters.
Thank you for allowing yourself to develop such a rich storyline and at the same time, keeping the characters as close as possible within the development of their individual relationships. I am one of those "purists" that believe that expanding on an already great thing is far more affective than taking it, trying to make it your own, and butchering it in the process.
Keep up with the good work. Believe me when I say that if you start slipping, you will hear about it. I never leave reviews lightly. I don't stroke egos. When I feel something, or someone has potential, it deserves my undivided attention. Look me up if you are ever in need of a beta. I'm tough but fair, and I will never let you think that you are creditable when you are not. There is way too much crap that is posted for the feeble minded and there is not enough that is of a caliper worthy of my review.
I am a stickler for correct grammar usage, spelling and punctuation, and I will usually rip a piece to shreds, before I can ever get into the storyline. This fic has actually enchanted me to the extent that I am checking AFF and MediaMiner on a daily basis, just to make sure that I do not miss out on any new chapters.
Thank you for allowing yourself to develop such a rich storyline and at the same time, keeping the characters as close as possible within the development of their individual relationships. I am one of those "purists" that believe that expanding on an already great thing is far more affective than taking it, trying to make it your own, and butchering it in the process.
Keep up with the good work. Believe me when I say that if you start slipping, you will hear about it. I never leave reviews lightly. I don't stroke egos. When I feel something, or someone has potential, it deserves my undivided attention. Look me up if you are ever in need of a beta. I'm tough but fair, and I will never let you think that you are creditable when you are not. There is way too much crap that is posted for the feeble minded and there is not enough that is of a caliper worthy of my review.
schedule
October 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
update again please!!!!!I love this stiry and I am desperate to know what happens / Great story!!!!!
schedule
February 22, 2007 at 12:00 AM
It has a lot of potential. The plot seems interesting and the caracterizations are good. However, there are a number of issues with tense that I've noticed. You seem to mix present, past and past perfect, sometimes in the same sentence. I'm not trying to disuade, I like the plot and I'd like to read more. But you might need to do some more editing.