AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for My Boyfriend's Brother

by Unknown

person Pastel
schedule December 25, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Fantastic. Update please.
person Seren1tystar01
schedule December 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Hi there. I just wanted to say that I love this story so far. You attention to detail and the length of this chapter were really what kept me in my seat. The only critique I have is that I noticed you use character names quite a bit. In fact, in some of the really good scenes, their names repeatedly used really takes away from the story, when there is no need to use them again. I do not want you to think this is a flame, far from it, I just want your story to be the best it can be.
If you do not have a beta, I would be happy to volunteer my services. If you would like a sample of my work, I have one Inuyasha story posted called Soul Consumption and I will answer any and all questions you may have. My email address is seren1tystar01@hotmail.com if you decide to accept my offer. Once again, this is a very well written and finely tuned story and I look forward to further chapters.
Seren1tystar01
person LynnStar
schedule December 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
thats a really good story so far. nice use of words and very well written...
person Kawaii Kilala
schedule December 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I would like to say that I like this story so far, and cant possibly wait for long for you to add a new chapter! I luv how this chapter was longgggg and not short like some other stories i shal not mention...i also loce that you haven't made them out of character, they are all pretty much the same...
i hope you add a chapter soon, I will be watching this story very closly for now, and cant possibly wait for the next chapter to arive!
TTYL;
megan
person Animeladypimp
schedule December 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Poor sesshy! ^_^ LOL!! He shoulda just came out. Then the both wouldn't of had to suffer. ^_^ LOL. Please update.
person madmiko
schedule December 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Great chapter! I really like the way you are portrayig Sesshoumaru. The arrogance, the taunting -- it's hard to tell if he's being serious with her or not. Perfect! I can't wait to read more. I hope you get a chance to update this soon!!