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December 9, 2006 at 12:00 AM
If you're looking for more mature opinions and help with your writing, you should join these guys: http://www.iyfanfiction.com/board/
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December 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Good one-shot. You can't really blame Kagome for hesitating after being shot-down so many times with Inuyasha. It is definitely understandable why she would be wary of trusting his love at first. That observation was really good. I thought the ending was a bit abrupt and that they should have talked a bit more, but overall it was a very good story.
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December 1, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I really like chapter one, I can't wait till the next
chapter.
chapter.
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December 1, 2006 at 12:00 AM
yeah, you most definitely need to add on to this. I enjoyed reading something that was well written immensely. There was one thing... but i may have read it wrong, just take a glance through and see if you can find it.. it had to do with the word so... and i think you may have meant though or something.
CONTINUE THIS!! it would make for a good story;
CONTINUE THIS!! it would make for a good story;
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December 1, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I'm not gonna be much help in the constructive criticism department. I like it just the way it is. Only thing I would change is, maybe make your chapters a bit longer. I was listening to the Gary Jules cover of the Tears for Fears song, Mad World. I started crying when I read your story. IDK, maybe I'm just emo today, but I still like your story the way it is. Are you planning on continuing it? I hope so, this has the potential to be a great story!
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December 1, 2006 at 12:00 AM
this is great *throws stuff at people who havn't reviewed*! this is really good ^_^