schedule
December 28, 2006 at 12:00 AM
can u make some fics about inuyasha getting dominated by a mistress? =D!!! plzzzzzzzzzzzzz lol and i love this story >;)
schedule
November 7, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Well, I think for the most part the story was well written. I don't really watch Inuyasha so I didn't know what was going on half the time lol. I've only ever really seen it a few times at a friend's house. The thing that did get me though is that aren't Inuyasha and his brother enemies? Or did I miss something from lack of watching? If they're still enemies then when he came for help he was accepted a little too fast for my taste. I would have expected a little distrust at first.
As for the grammar aspect, I noticed that you have a little problem with dialogue. You have 2 different characters speaking in the same paragraph. You're supposed to start a new paragraph for a different speaker.
My last suggestion would be to be a little more descriptive about the scenery around the characters. I know that's hard to do. I have trouble with it myself. It can be hard to put whats in your mind into words.
In closing, you're a good author. There are just a few minor things that need fixed. Definitely keep up the good work!
As for the grammar aspect, I noticed that you have a little problem with dialogue. You have 2 different characters speaking in the same paragraph. You're supposed to start a new paragraph for a different speaker.
My last suggestion would be to be a little more descriptive about the scenery around the characters. I know that's hard to do. I have trouble with it myself. It can be hard to put whats in your mind into words.
In closing, you're a good author. There are just a few minor things that need fixed. Definitely keep up the good work!
schedule
November 2, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 3 -- Keep going with this story.. It is nice