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October 27, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I am really enjoying this story. It is written well and keeps your interest, but the only problem I have is what happened to her wrist. The last we knew is she had landed on it twice, then nothing. You have her using her hands in his hair during sex, so it has to be fixed then. But we never found how it was fixed. Just an idea, maybe you can add that when she first woke up he had fixed it for her (maybe make it kind of sensual maybe) like he started invoking warm electric feelings in her that confused and frightened her. Sorry don’t want to tell you how to write just some suggestions from your reader. LOL