rate_review Reviews

i love ti keep it going

You've got a good thing going here, but it seems like you're trying to rush it. You might want to consider using 'and' for thought processes. Also, I can tell you now, people are going to want longer chapters, trust me. I would also like to suggest getting a beta to help you out with your story. They're like your editor. They come in real handy. Believe me...I am one. I can't wait to see your next chapter.

Ja ne!

Faerie Demoness

your plot idea is really good, but I noticed a couple of things. First, it was really really rushed. Second you need to pick a point of view and stick with it. It started out as third person, then to first and back. That can make it really hard to follow. I think you were trying to show us thoughts with what was written in first person. Think of thoughts as dialog in the head. '...' can be used or italic. It is ok to use the first person 'I' in that, but if somthing happens to the character, that needs to go back to third person. In all honesty though, I would go with telling the story in the first person from Kagome's point of view. That would mean you would have to stay out of Sesshomaru's head, but that could make it more interesting for the reader to try and figure out what is going on along with Kagome. Or if you wanted to go into Sesshomaru's head, then alternate chapters on who is telling the story. I have also read books where the chapters alternate between 1st and 3rd person. As long as you make it clear the point of view is changing, switching can be fun. You just have to remeber who knows what. Keep going with it, I would like to see what exactly Seshomaru has up his sleeve.

Good story so far. Looking forward to update

Wow! Nothing else to say to something as awesome as this. I was a little reluctant to read this. But, I am very much so glad that I had the pleasure of it. This is tasteful and hits the mark very well. You have a great creativity level and I condemn you on your success for creating such a wonderful piece of work.

I thank you for keeping them in character. You hit the mark so well that I actually thought for several occasions I was watching the television show. Corny huh! Oh well, this is a masterful piece of writing and I can’t wait to see what happens in the future!

To speak quite candidly, I laughed harder than I ever thought I could. Your logic is so on the mark it is not even funny…ok did that make sense? Anyways, great story; I give it a twenty on the ten scale. Sesshoumaru and Kagome are my favorite paring. Especially when Kagome can become a demon.

I hate stories when Kagome is the helpless little woman who everyone has to save. It is degrading and I just…don’t like it. I also enjoy reading stories that feature InuYasha betraying Kagome for Kikyo and thus Kagome running to the demon Lord.

Very well done, can’t wait to see what happens next. Please update as soon as possible. I will be waiting!

OKAY WELL I LOVE THIS STORY. I HOPE YOU GET MORE CHAPTERS UP SOON. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS. YOU DID A WONDERFUL JOB I LOVE IT!!!

Cool story. :) Although....the word niggen. Are you trying to say "ningen"? Just asking. :/