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May 10, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I read this story about a year ago and I think you have an excellent plot going. I hope you decide to finish it!!!
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January 5, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Interesting premise, which has been done before (hasn't everything?) but so far not with such credibility. While I like you taking the time to develop Sesshomaru as a female while keeping her in character(and doing a better job of that than do most where it's completely along canon lines), I couldn't help notice from a few author's notes that you've been asked to speed up the time-line. I'm a fanfic author as well, and I know how little any good author listens to reader's wishes when it comes to their plots... but you mentioned at the end of the last chapter that it was boring to write. Author to author: if it was boring to write, it'll be boring to read. While I have enjoyed the story, the interest & excitement of the first meeting with Inuyasha has worn off, and I realize you're about to get to another meeting with him... Just enjoy what you're writing. Enjoy it, don't force yourself to write if you're finding it boring. If you enjoy it (as you're in the top 90% of those writing here), so will we.
Nea
Nea
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January 3, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I really love what you have so far. Your character development with Sesshoumaru is amazing. I love it. A female and very complicated (well more complicated than usual) Sesshoumaru is very interesting. I really enjoy your writing style and plot development, makes it a lot easier to read because I don't feel as if I'm forcing myself through portions of the story you didn't want to spend too much time on. Well, I'm starting to get long-winded so I'll end this. Love your story. Update when you can.
ChaoticSpecter
ChaoticSpecter
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December 21, 2006 at 12:00 AM
good work nice descriptive details many authors on this site lack this. Please continue your story is magnificent.
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December 9, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 4:
I can’t possibly mention all of the things that make this a wonderful chapter and an awesome fic. You’re detail is amazing. You’re description of Sesshoumaru’s feelings are so brilliant. It’s all good. I know that I haven’t reviewed like I should and I may have reviewed chapter four, but I doubt that I did it justice.
You tugged at my heart strings with Sesshoumaru’s feelings concerning her father. It was so descriptive and makes her more ‘human’. Also, the meaning of the sword, the connection that she expected to have with her father, was so poignant. The whole thing being about acceptance from her father was so sad. It makes the seeking of more power moot. Now it becomes personal. And that makes Tetsusaiga’s refusal so disappointing. It almost makes me wish that Sesshoumaru could have the sword.
So, they have a history that you casually tossed in for a brief moment of the action in the tomb. Hm, the way that you put emphasis on ‘brother’ as Inuyasha says it makes me wonder if he doesn’t know that Sesshoumaru is a girl.
Heheh, Inuyasha’s body decided that it perceived their battle as foreplay. Oh, that’s funny. Well, she was playing with her prey. Serves her right.
“Darn,” the white youkai commented, boredness tainting her voice, “it appears she was an ordinary mortal after all.”
That was just too funny! And I must mention that the running gag of Sesshoumaru being irritated with people repeating themselves is funny too.
It is amusing when you do things like this:
“You,” she shouted, turning to Sesshoumaru and pointing the treasured sword at her, “you tried to kill me, didn’t you.
Sesshoumaru blinked. Was the girl seriously asking, because the daiyoukai thought her intentions had been quite clear.
I also never understood why Kagome said that either. Sounded kind of stupid. You were able to make it into something humorous.
Both Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha wondering if Kagome had a psychological disorder. LOL
This almost made me cry:
The sword had accepted him as its master. That realization hurt nearly as much as her shattered limb.
You truly amaze me and I wish that I was half as good at writing as you are.
Snow
I can’t possibly mention all of the things that make this a wonderful chapter and an awesome fic. You’re detail is amazing. You’re description of Sesshoumaru’s feelings are so brilliant. It’s all good. I know that I haven’t reviewed like I should and I may have reviewed chapter four, but I doubt that I did it justice.
You tugged at my heart strings with Sesshoumaru’s feelings concerning her father. It was so descriptive and makes her more ‘human’. Also, the meaning of the sword, the connection that she expected to have with her father, was so poignant. The whole thing being about acceptance from her father was so sad. It makes the seeking of more power moot. Now it becomes personal. And that makes Tetsusaiga’s refusal so disappointing. It almost makes me wish that Sesshoumaru could have the sword.
So, they have a history that you casually tossed in for a brief moment of the action in the tomb. Hm, the way that you put emphasis on ‘brother’ as Inuyasha says it makes me wonder if he doesn’t know that Sesshoumaru is a girl.
Heheh, Inuyasha’s body decided that it perceived their battle as foreplay. Oh, that’s funny. Well, she was playing with her prey. Serves her right.
“Darn,” the white youkai commented, boredness tainting her voice, “it appears she was an ordinary mortal after all.”
That was just too funny! And I must mention that the running gag of Sesshoumaru being irritated with people repeating themselves is funny too.
It is amusing when you do things like this:
“You,” she shouted, turning to Sesshoumaru and pointing the treasured sword at her, “you tried to kill me, didn’t you.
Sesshoumaru blinked. Was the girl seriously asking, because the daiyoukai thought her intentions had been quite clear.
I also never understood why Kagome said that either. Sounded kind of stupid. You were able to make it into something humorous.
Both Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha wondering if Kagome had a psychological disorder. LOL
This almost made me cry:
The sword had accepted him as its master. That realization hurt nearly as much as her shattered limb.
You truly amaze me and I wish that I was half as good at writing as you are.
Snow
schedule
December 9, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 5
Sorry about the your/you’re problem in the last review. It’s late and my brain is fried.
Sesshoumaru’s physical pain, as well as her emotional pain concerning the swords, brought a lump up in my throat.
This was a very nifty concept:
“So the wounded youkai joined with the pain, giving it reign to push through her mental barriers until she was completely merged with it. Once it was no longer working to fight the pain, her body could concentrate on repairing the damage.”
I loved the description of her rising and leaving the tree and of her time at the hotspring.
Her view on Inuyasha’s survival and her attitude are very plausible. Passing the blame for her mistakes onto Inuyasha is funny. I can see that happening.
She sure has a low opinion of Jakken. However, her attitude appeared a bit softer with “Let’s go home, Jaken.”
Darn it! Months ago, I started a fic that had the InuYoukai tied to the land like you have them and I take it even deeper in another fic that I’m working on. Are we psychic? Or would that be psychotic? LOL
I just love your idea of the trees having grown so closely together and opening up for Sesshoumaru. That was terrific! The whole episode with Jaken and the dryad was very amusing. I’m still smiling. I commend you for adding a dryad. It has been my opinion that the Inuyasha world has magical creatures and our fics should not be limited, as some tried to do with my first fic. Thank you very much for this addition.
Sesshoumaru’s strategy to draw out challengers was excellent. I love a good strategist. Your imagery of Sesshoumaru as she waited, when she was approached, the picture when the moon waned was so intense. I can’t tell you how much I was drawn into that scene.
This was fucking hilarious:
“Well,” she commented to it, “at least you died with both arms. Such a waste, actually.”
So if she wasn’t going to get it back, what else could she do? The inuyoukai let her golden gaze drift back down to the dark headless form at her feet--the form with two perfectly good arms that she was beyond resentful for. “It’s too bad I can’t just take one of yours,” she stated to the corpse as she poked it with a toe again. “After all, it’s the least you could do after challenging me.”
I loved the fight scene and the mention of the thunder brothers.
Oh wow! Great idea for the arm! And damn, I had wondered if that poison would have affected it.
Sesshoumaru’s ruminations concerning her father and her past were enlightening as is much of your writing is.
Heheh, you’re humor is wonderful:
‘It was enough that instead of howling into the lightening sky, Sesshoumaru just brought her hand to her temple, massaging away the headache that was not there. Because Sesshoumaru didn’t get headaches.’
Wonderfully morbid humor. Love this image:
‘As the hoof beats resumed, Sesshoumaru turned her blind eyes from the burning sun. It took two heartbeats for her pupils to heal and adjust and she smiled slightly at the approaching men. After all, if they were to die, it was the least she could do.’
Gah! I am soooo jealous! Even the scene with Naraku was excellent. How you delve into Sesshoumaru’s head is just unbelievable! I’m going to go cry in a corner now. *pouts at your brilliance*
As always, awesome chapter.
Snow
Sorry about the your/you’re problem in the last review. It’s late and my brain is fried.
Sesshoumaru’s physical pain, as well as her emotional pain concerning the swords, brought a lump up in my throat.
This was a very nifty concept:
“So the wounded youkai joined with the pain, giving it reign to push through her mental barriers until she was completely merged with it. Once it was no longer working to fight the pain, her body could concentrate on repairing the damage.”
I loved the description of her rising and leaving the tree and of her time at the hotspring.
Her view on Inuyasha’s survival and her attitude are very plausible. Passing the blame for her mistakes onto Inuyasha is funny. I can see that happening.
She sure has a low opinion of Jakken. However, her attitude appeared a bit softer with “Let’s go home, Jaken.”
Darn it! Months ago, I started a fic that had the InuYoukai tied to the land like you have them and I take it even deeper in another fic that I’m working on. Are we psychic? Or would that be psychotic? LOL
I just love your idea of the trees having grown so closely together and opening up for Sesshoumaru. That was terrific! The whole episode with Jaken and the dryad was very amusing. I’m still smiling. I commend you for adding a dryad. It has been my opinion that the Inuyasha world has magical creatures and our fics should not be limited, as some tried to do with my first fic. Thank you very much for this addition.
Sesshoumaru’s strategy to draw out challengers was excellent. I love a good strategist. Your imagery of Sesshoumaru as she waited, when she was approached, the picture when the moon waned was so intense. I can’t tell you how much I was drawn into that scene.
This was fucking hilarious:
“Well,” she commented to it, “at least you died with both arms. Such a waste, actually.”
So if she wasn’t going to get it back, what else could she do? The inuyoukai let her golden gaze drift back down to the dark headless form at her feet--the form with two perfectly good arms that she was beyond resentful for. “It’s too bad I can’t just take one of yours,” she stated to the corpse as she poked it with a toe again. “After all, it’s the least you could do after challenging me.”
I loved the fight scene and the mention of the thunder brothers.
Oh wow! Great idea for the arm! And damn, I had wondered if that poison would have affected it.
Sesshoumaru’s ruminations concerning her father and her past were enlightening as is much of your writing is.
Heheh, you’re humor is wonderful:
‘It was enough that instead of howling into the lightening sky, Sesshoumaru just brought her hand to her temple, massaging away the headache that was not there. Because Sesshoumaru didn’t get headaches.’
Wonderfully morbid humor. Love this image:
‘As the hoof beats resumed, Sesshoumaru turned her blind eyes from the burning sun. It took two heartbeats for her pupils to heal and adjust and she smiled slightly at the approaching men. After all, if they were to die, it was the least she could do.’
Gah! I am soooo jealous! Even the scene with Naraku was excellent. How you delve into Sesshoumaru’s head is just unbelievable! I’m going to go cry in a corner now. *pouts at your brilliance*
As always, awesome chapter.
Snow
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December 7, 2006 at 12:00 AM
more action please! Where's the Inu/Sess goodness*.*!!!
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December 7, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Once again great chapter! I loved the bath scene!
schedule
December 6, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I think your story is coming along just fine, and moving at exactly the pace it needs to. As to not having Inu in the chapter, obviously it was NECESSARY for this chapter to occur the way it did. As always, very very well done!
schedule
December 6, 2006 at 12:00 AM
yay! you finally updated^_^
i loved it as usual and can't wait til the next chapter.
i loved it as usual and can't wait til the next chapter.