schedule
December 6, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
schedule
April 3, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
schedule
December 27, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapter?
schedule
September 21, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Great story. I look forward to seeing it updated soon.
You asked for input on spelling/grammar errors. Really, your spelling is fine. The only real problem is using the wrong words for things. Below are the ones that I noted while reading your fic:
She doesn’t not remember those things. (This is considered a 'double negative' which in essence means that she actually remembers. The more correct phrasing for what you seem to be saying is simply "She doesn't remember those things.)
could not quite her fiery spirit. (Here the term 'guite' should be 'guiet'.)
encrusted kimono, knees bend, (This one should be 'knees bent')
dirty old matt that was her bed. (You only need one 't' in mat.)
she traced the patterns them seemed to form as her mind (The word 'them' should be 'they')
The heavy rotten-wooded door pealed open (This should read 'The heavy, rotten, wooden door peeled open')
a perfectly straight nose to his blood read eyes. (Here you want 'his blood red eyes.')
he swung the sword round in a tight, neat ark, (This one would be 'around in a tight, neat arc,')
His silver hair braded in a tight plat (And here you want 'braided in a tight plait')
Please update this story soon. I look forward to seeing how this continues.
You asked for input on spelling/grammar errors. Really, your spelling is fine. The only real problem is using the wrong words for things. Below are the ones that I noted while reading your fic:
She doesn’t not remember those things. (This is considered a 'double negative' which in essence means that she actually remembers. The more correct phrasing for what you seem to be saying is simply "She doesn't remember those things.)
could not quite her fiery spirit. (Here the term 'guite' should be 'guiet'.)
encrusted kimono, knees bend, (This one should be 'knees bent')
dirty old matt that was her bed. (You only need one 't' in mat.)
she traced the patterns them seemed to form as her mind (The word 'them' should be 'they')
The heavy rotten-wooded door pealed open (This should read 'The heavy, rotten, wooden door peeled open')
a perfectly straight nose to his blood read eyes. (Here you want 'his blood red eyes.')
he swung the sword round in a tight, neat ark, (This one would be 'around in a tight, neat arc,')
His silver hair braded in a tight plat (And here you want 'braided in a tight plait')
Please update this story soon. I look forward to seeing how this continues.
schedule
September 20, 2006 at 12:00 AM
i have just stumbled upon this story and i find it fascinating... please continue.
thank you,
ginny
thank you,
ginny
schedule
August 12, 2006 at 12:00 AM
heeeeyyyy... what up with the short chapter? the story sounds great so far, and i can see why you would want to stop there..... but damn i wish there was more, i read through that chapter in a matter of seconds