rate_review Reviews

you need to add onto your summary that you've edited the existing chapters and invite everyone to read them again and tell you what they think.

everything looks good, pretty with all of the line breaks and stuff. the story is still really entertaining and funny.

ja,
ginny

Hey hey!!! If you want a beta before you continue this story and nobodys offered yet... I can, it may take me a while because I have a TON of stuff going on this summer, but, eh, I'll manage to work it in, of that I'm positive... Also, just wanna say that I LOVE this fic so far, and if you do not continue it it will be a crying shame =) Please get back to work on this soon =D

Ok... in case the sight won't let you see my e-mail (for beta'ing) it's rdietz@gac.edu

WHERE is the FLUFF?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yo, Not a bad story, could definatley use some work in the grammar/spelling but enjoyable regardless. In response to your Beta request I could help you out, I've done it for a few people before. If you're interested in my help just hit me up with an email.

Cheers

this is an interesting story, the dialog is entertaining and realistic, the scenes are described well.

a couple suggestions: extra lines between paragraphs, it not only makes it easier to read but it makes it look prettier too!
watch malapropisms and homophones, spell check won't catch them as they are real words that are words that sound similar or even the same as the words you intend on using... common homophones people mix up: coarse-rough, course-a set way or the saying 'of course', corse-an old fashioned word for corpse. your-you own it, you're-you are etc.

i would love to read more!

thank you,
ginny

rhiannon

hi, i can beta for you but i won't edit the lemon scenes. my general address is listed with my profile, if i hear from you i will give you the address i use to beta.

after you get the other address, you can send me an attatched word document or just copy/paste the text directly to the message. i will give you some pointers to work on from each chapter to improve your writing.

ginny

Your story is good, and so is your plot. Unfortunately I really had trouble reading it because of the fact that there are no seperate paragraphs. Just one extra-large one. I did the exact same thing. MY computer wouldn't do what I wanted it to and I couldn't get my spacing done. Try going onto your control panel and editing your story. When you get to where you want your paragraph to stop, press 'enter' on your keyboard. Then you'll be good to go for your next paragraph. If you do this with all of your chapters, It'll be much easier for the readers to get the gist of your story. Good luck, sweetie.

I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?

ok great besides grammer u put wise instead of wish again amd other things
if u can get a beta reader ud b set and ready for more great reviews
it really is a great story but the bad grammer kinda ruins it
so fix it and it would b perfect
update soon