schedule
May 28, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hey! Are you and the author Kagome friends? Because both your work sucks. Terribly.
http://inu.adultfanfiction.net/authors.php?no=1296797210 <-- You should hook up with her. Maybe if both of you two horrible "authors" team up you can make a decent story.
I'm ashamed that people like you think you can write a story just because you flop a few paragraphs together and call it good.
Here are some tips for you:
1) Spell checker systems are NICE.
2) Please, make sure you're 18 or over.
3) Grammar is nice as well.
4) Formatting your story is NICE.
5) Re-reading your story is NICE.
MOST OF ALL:
6) Don't write unless you pass your English classes with at least a B-. =P
http://inu.adultfanfiction.net/authors.php?no=1296797210 <-- You should hook up with her. Maybe if both of you two horrible "authors" team up you can make a decent story.
I'm ashamed that people like you think you can write a story just because you flop a few paragraphs together and call it good.
Here are some tips for you:
1) Spell checker systems are NICE.
2) Please, make sure you're 18 or over.
3) Grammar is nice as well.
4) Formatting your story is NICE.
5) Re-reading your story is NICE.
MOST OF ALL:
6) Don't write unless you pass your English classes with at least a B-. =P
schedule
September 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Urgh
We have another bad author on our hands
Someone be a dear and get me the rat poison
x_x
We have another bad author on our hands
Someone be a dear and get me the rat poison
x_x
schedule
July 19, 2006 at 12:00 AM
wtf?
schedule
July 8, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I read the first few sentences of your story. Correction, the first sentence you wrote and I couldn't even register what you were trying to say. It was a paragraph long with no punctuation whatsoever. I understand that you are probably younger than most writers/authors on this site, but please spell things correctly. Here are words that are quite EASY to remember how to spell, and you didn't even both to check if you had done so:
incorrect - correct
untill - until
contral - control
buttimg - butting
tryed - tried
couls - could
& there are more, but I want to point out other things you had done wrong.
Dialogue is another thing. When someone is talking to another, there are rules to it. To properly write dialogue, you make it a new paragraph every time. Meaning, you start a new LINE. If you are describing the way a person felt, that can be continued after what the person said, but when you write another line of dialogue, you start a new paragraph. Example:
"How was your day?" Sango asked with an exasperated tone.
"Oh, just fine," Kagome slit her eyes into an angry frown as she fisted her hands.
Dialogue is considered a paragaph. Understand it a little bit? I hope so. Notice the comma after Kagome replies saying 'fine'? That's because the sentence is not done. If you, or a different author were to not show the emotion she was emitting through her words, you would do it like so:
"Oh, just fine."
Then, you'd start another line. You cannot write paragraphs within paragraphs. Another thing; it is quite obvious that you aren't 18. If you were 18, you'd know all this by now. I am going to report you unless you can prove that you are old enough to even be viewing this site. Don't copy someone else's story, please. That's plagiarism. I have read stories like this before, they're all the same concept. The plot is interesting, that I like, but it makes me dislike it when the way the author writes it is out of line. You made this story go by too fast, and had many flaws. You are a writer-in-training, as I would call it. But, please. This site is not for you. I'm not telling you to get off, do as you wish, but you are obviously too young to be on this site. If you want tips on how to write, ask me, or someone who has experience. But, this is not the way to learn. You like erotica, a lot of people do too, I like it. I love it, but not when it is written so grotesque. Email me, I want to hear your response.
incorrect - correct
untill - until
contral - control
buttimg - butting
tryed - tried
couls - could
& there are more, but I want to point out other things you had done wrong.
Dialogue is another thing. When someone is talking to another, there are rules to it. To properly write dialogue, you make it a new paragraph every time. Meaning, you start a new LINE. If you are describing the way a person felt, that can be continued after what the person said, but when you write another line of dialogue, you start a new paragraph. Example:
"How was your day?" Sango asked with an exasperated tone.
"Oh, just fine," Kagome slit her eyes into an angry frown as she fisted her hands.
Dialogue is considered a paragaph. Understand it a little bit? I hope so. Notice the comma after Kagome replies saying 'fine'? That's because the sentence is not done. If you, or a different author were to not show the emotion she was emitting through her words, you would do it like so:
"Oh, just fine."
Then, you'd start another line. You cannot write paragraphs within paragraphs. Another thing; it is quite obvious that you aren't 18. If you were 18, you'd know all this by now. I am going to report you unless you can prove that you are old enough to even be viewing this site. Don't copy someone else's story, please. That's plagiarism. I have read stories like this before, they're all the same concept. The plot is interesting, that I like, but it makes me dislike it when the way the author writes it is out of line. You made this story go by too fast, and had many flaws. You are a writer-in-training, as I would call it. But, please. This site is not for you. I'm not telling you to get off, do as you wish, but you are obviously too young to be on this site. If you want tips on how to write, ask me, or someone who has experience. But, this is not the way to learn. You like erotica, a lot of people do too, I like it. I love it, but not when it is written so grotesque. Email me, I want to hear your response.
schedule
June 26, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Her name is Kaede... the 'old hag' is kaede.
schedule
June 26, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I have to ask you a question...
why the FUCK ... are you writing... ??? omg... i have had a bad day and maybe
that is why i am taking all my shit out on you... but this site is intended for people that are 18+
NOT 10 yr old pussies...
GET A LIFE AND LEARN TO WRITE BEFORE YOU POST ANY OF UR SHIT
why the FUCK ... are you writing... ??? omg... i have had a bad day and maybe
that is why i am taking all my shit out on you... but this site is intended for people that are 18+
NOT 10 yr old pussies...
GET A LIFE AND LEARN TO WRITE BEFORE YOU POST ANY OF UR SHIT
schedule
June 15, 2006 at 12:00 AM
This is why 12-year-olds should not write adult stories. You're a stupid 12-year-old, aren't you?
schedule
June 14, 2006 at 12:00 AM
It would be nice if you would do things like use proper grammar and spelling. Spellcheck is your friend. And don't be too lazy to use capital letters and complete sentences. It would also help if you would put a line between paragraphs (so it doen't give the first impression of one run-on sentence. You really should find a beta to help you make your story even readable. Are you sure you are old enough to be posting here?
schedule
June 14, 2006 at 12:00 AM
ok i guess but u need to space out your words and dont cram them together also use commas and dont rush the storie and on a last note u need some grammer fixed in there so maby a beta or something
this isnt a flame just critizism anyway good for a beginner jsut bring it up a little more
this isnt a flame just critizism anyway good for a beginner jsut bring it up a little more