schedule
July 15, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I don't know if you're trying to be symbollic or whatever, but your grammar sucks. The whole story sucked. Sorry. Hope you do better, later on, though.
schedule
July 8, 2006 at 12:00 AM
*Sigh* Yet again you have failed to write correctly. This time I am going to tell you to stop writing. Please gain experience before you try again. When you say: "don't be mean cuz it's my first story" it makes you sound like you're a hurt little third-grader. Don't tell people to not be "mean", it's not us being mean, it's us telling you what you're doing wrong. People are getting annoyed, and sound mean. But in this case, you should not be calling it mean, because that's not what it is. It's called "Flaming". You say: "Please no flames".
When you are writing your little AN (Author's Note) at the bottom, you make it sound like an IM conversation. The way people talk on IM is not the way you write. Read more often; learn and figure out how to write better. When I was 10 I wrote better than this.
Don't take any of this offensively, don't take it to the heart. Take advantage of people and what I'm saying and try to do something about it. If you're hurt or offended, then TRY.
The writing is not the biggest part of why I am peeved. But, I seriously dislike the fact that you and people like you who know nothing about InuYasha (the show, not him in general, thank you) try and write stories about him. It is easy to see through the- "I can't remember her name, so I just called her old hag" concept. If you truly understood the show InuYasha, and more about the characters, you would know all the names, how to spell them, and would have more of a plot in your story. You might even make the characters sound like the real ones! So learn, please! Stop posing as an author and a person who knows the show well and please STOP wasting our time! You may say: "you're the one writing a whole page about how bad my story was, isn't that wasting your time?" when in fact it isn't. I love to give advice. But I'm so ticked off with the fact that you don't even try to understand the story of InuYasha, and you don't even try to learn how to spell the names of the characters, or how to spell in general, that I am mad.
Please. Stay. Off. This. Site.
When you are writing your little AN (Author's Note) at the bottom, you make it sound like an IM conversation. The way people talk on IM is not the way you write. Read more often; learn and figure out how to write better. When I was 10 I wrote better than this.
Don't take any of this offensively, don't take it to the heart. Take advantage of people and what I'm saying and try to do something about it. If you're hurt or offended, then TRY.
The writing is not the biggest part of why I am peeved. But, I seriously dislike the fact that you and people like you who know nothing about InuYasha (the show, not him in general, thank you) try and write stories about him. It is easy to see through the- "I can't remember her name, so I just called her old hag" concept. If you truly understood the show InuYasha, and more about the characters, you would know all the names, how to spell them, and would have more of a plot in your story. You might even make the characters sound like the real ones! So learn, please! Stop posing as an author and a person who knows the show well and please STOP wasting our time! You may say: "you're the one writing a whole page about how bad my story was, isn't that wasting your time?" when in fact it isn't. I love to give advice. But I'm so ticked off with the fact that you don't even try to understand the story of InuYasha, and you don't even try to learn how to spell the names of the characters, or how to spell in general, that I am mad.
Please. Stay. Off. This. Site.
schedule
June 25, 2006 at 12:00 AM
It would be useful if you used things like capitalization and punctuation. Spellcheck and grammarcheck are your friends. It's hard to make heads nor tails of this without some attempt at proper grammer and spelling.
schedule
June 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Who knew that Kagome could be a very horny girl saying to Inuyasha to stay inside her because it felt so good? I sure as hell didn't.
schedule
June 20, 2006 at 12:00 AM
uh... this is so cliche its a joke... are you serious? it was like a train wreck...
terrible but yet.. cannot look away, um, you really need a beta... or word processor.... ugh.
please do us all a favor and do that.... or just stop writing... t
his was so OOC taht i thought i would put a fist through my computer... this is so fucking dumb.
terrible but yet.. cannot look away, um, you really need a beta... or word processor.... ugh.
please do us all a favor and do that.... or just stop writing... t
his was so OOC taht i thought i would put a fist through my computer... this is so fucking dumb.
schedule
June 14, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Not bad. I like the basic story. But it was a little hard to read. You could use some editing of this story. There were several spelling mistakes. Also, whenever the speaker in a story changes a new paragraph should start. Names of characters always begin with a capital letter. The first word of a sentence always begins with a capital letter also.
If you would go back and edit this, or get a beta reader to edit it for you, you could turn a so-so story into a great story. If you don't have a word processing program with spell check, I recommend openoffice. It's free and easily rivals Microsoft Word.
If you would go back and edit this, or get a beta reader to edit it for you, you could turn a so-so story into a great story. If you don't have a word processing program with spell check, I recommend openoffice. It's free and easily rivals Microsoft Word.
schedule
June 14, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Grammar, capitalization, and sentence structure need some serious work here.