rate_review Reviews

Okay, there are a few things that I think you should know about your story...
1. Great storyline, but it needs alot of work. You need to edit, revise, and you need to use correct puncuiation(sp).
2. Use more paragraphs. Nobody wants to read one big paragraph, thats a huge turn off for the reader, so is using incorrect spelling.
3. Add more detail, there is little to no detail in this story.

I would add more, but since it is so short, there isn't really much to add. This story has good potential, and if you want, I could edit it for you, if you email it to me, that would be great. But like i said before, it does need alot of work. Keep up the good work!
Keep trying, the other rude reviewers can kiss your ass, they should just use constructive critism, not be mean. But if you do want some help, I'm here to help you! ^__^

I wounder were this is going?

sounds vary promising :-)
i would luve it if u put inus P.O.V. ;-)
plzz update soon.

TTFN;
megan

inufan and Anon are boneheads u shouldnt
listen to them keep wrighting *gives u thumbs-up* :-)

TTFN;
megan

good storyline, but shorthand+fics=nono

Please use proper spelling an punctuation.
The use of more prargraphs is recommended, and read it again before posting there are some words missing.

Currently I can't say anything about the quality of the story, the sample was too short for a judgement, but sofar it appears somewhat rushed.

Oh goodness. Don't listen to Anon the anal retentive advocate.
You have real potential in this story and I know you can
do something magnificent with it. First chapter has me
hooked, now just make it longer, and I'm sure that's no
problem for you! You seem very creative!!! Good luck and
please continue!! :)

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh why why must you stop nooooooooooooo (coughs) well ...... this sounds very interesting please write more ^_^

moremoremoremoremore

WOW nice begining
a lot short but really good
PLZ contine