schedule
January 8, 2006 at 12:00 AM
iu
schedule
January 7, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Not bad for your first lemon... Loved the chapter.
Chanda
Chanda
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January 5, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Wow,nice chapter,and I loved that Sessh and Rin got together first.The water fall scene was perfect .For it being your first it was very good and shows alot of promise.I'm glad you let them have thier moment together with out any evil influance to mess it up.
Can't wait for the next chapter,hope its soon
Can't wait for the next chapter,hope its soon
schedule
January 5, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Wonderful fic! Funny & very entertaining.
Nice lemony goodness too ^_^
Nice lemony goodness too ^_^
schedule
January 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
yay!! I'm so glad you posted another chapter, your lemon was good, and you're sucha great writer already, I know you will only improve! I can't wait for the next update! Great job!!!
schedule
January 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
some one really complained about you using tobacco and beer? wow that thats sad its lot like you made it into an orgy beer fest or something....and this IS adult fan fiction so i hope the readers here will be mature enough to not whine about something so stupid..... i loooooove this story so far, and i hope you describe what each girl's gowns look lke when you get to the party! i know ill sound like a perv fro saying this, but i hope theres a lemon in the next chapter or so, cause i can only stand so much of the guys acting so damn mushy without getting any.... cant wait for the update!
schedule
January 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
So that was your first lemon? Hmm, for a first timer, it was quite good, it just needs more details and a bit more depth, and you have a high class lemon in your hands!
I remember when i wrote my first lemon, i never published it because it was written in Finnish... but, the very first lemons that i published on this site, though the story no longer exists, was quite good. Now, i have written about... 5 lemons so far, and from the reviews i've received, they are pretty hot too.
If you want to read my lemons, either check my profile or email me.
Anyway, back to the review at hand:
(Sorry about what i wrote, i apologise if you found this... 'advertisement', offensive in any way.)
So, even though this was your first lemon, i can see promise in it, just brush up your skills, add details and depth, and you have a promisin future ahead of you. The story itself is also very good, and as for the behaviour of the characters, this is AU and your first fic, so you have all the rights to do as you please. If the story is AU, you can describe the characters as you wish, anyone who complains about it, they can just go F*** themselves because AU means "Alternate Universe", meaning it is not related to the original story, so the authors can describe characters as they please, AU is like a stamp that gives 100% freedom for authors to do as they please, if you don't like it, then just keep quiet.
Anyway, sorry about that ranting, hope to hear from you someday again!
I remember when i wrote my first lemon, i never published it because it was written in Finnish... but, the very first lemons that i published on this site, though the story no longer exists, was quite good. Now, i have written about... 5 lemons so far, and from the reviews i've received, they are pretty hot too.
If you want to read my lemons, either check my profile or email me.
Anyway, back to the review at hand:
(Sorry about what i wrote, i apologise if you found this... 'advertisement', offensive in any way.)
So, even though this was your first lemon, i can see promise in it, just brush up your skills, add details and depth, and you have a promisin future ahead of you. The story itself is also very good, and as for the behaviour of the characters, this is AU and your first fic, so you have all the rights to do as you please. If the story is AU, you can describe the characters as you wish, anyone who complains about it, they can just go F*** themselves because AU means "Alternate Universe", meaning it is not related to the original story, so the authors can describe characters as they please, AU is like a stamp that gives 100% freedom for authors to do as they please, if you don't like it, then just keep quiet.
Anyway, sorry about that ranting, hope to hear from you someday again!
schedule
January 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
finish
schedule
January 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
beautiful. ♥
schedule
January 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
yay, I can't wait to read more, I hope you can get your computer fixed soon. I work at a PC, but my desk space is limited so I have a "mini" keyboard, exactly like you would find on a laptop, so when i do use a regular keyboard on other computers, I get confused and start pressing wrong bottons! anyways. Good luck, and keep up the great work.