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January 18, 2006 at 12:00 AM
well its cool but add more detail and stop jumping around part to part and less talkin add more intersting fighting not he swung jumped and got hit but for a first time thats decent :)
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January 9, 2006 at 12:00 AM
this story is really getting good so please update soon ill be watching , BK
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December 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Ok ill be nice with constructive critizem ok question how did he die? what cuased him to? and y he die just like that inuyasha is a beast he does not die ez i mean his bro stabbed his hand throgh his chest and wen he first met sango she stabbed a sword in his arm and he pulled it out no prob ....
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December 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Sounds like an interesting premise. A little hard to read...perhaps if you came back to it after you wrote and neatened it up a bit for style? Keep at it.
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December 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This is a good plot!! very very good like where it's going...BUT you have spelling and grammer errors. I advise you to use spell check and a beta. Well that's mostly it and i still HOPE YOU UPDATE
A.S.A.P!!!!
thanks
A.S.A.P!!!!
thanks
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December 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
DUDE TAT STORY WAS GOOD, BESIDES ALL THE MISTAKES. O and if u want this story to be even better, write down the characters facial expressions, how there dressed, how they feel, and little by little tell the audience what the character is all about in your story. THEN IT'LL BE ONE ASS KICKING STORY. lol