rate_review Reviews

Well I think you are doing a good job. Those reviewer that are ragging on about how Sessy has changed and stuff they need to remember that this is FANFIC so it is not going to be exactly like the amine/magna. The characters may be a bit OoC but that is how you CHOSE to write them... get a grip people... jeez. You write some long winded review about how a character is and ask if the author ever watched/read the anime/magna? The author is writing thier version of this "based" on those characters but it is still the author's version and is not going to be exactly like the original. I believe you are writing well and writing things as you feel they could have happened later on down the road if Shippou wasn't "reined in" so to speak on his behavior. As far as Shippou being a Sessy in training well maybe not so much since Sessy only used the "unmother" to get Inuyasha to tell him where the sword was hidden. It was more of a means to an end and not "really" meant to be cruel like the joke Shippou played. People tend to forget that yes Shippou is a child but there were times when he did stuff just so Inuyasha would be "sat" ... so did Miroku for that matter. And as far as them watching Shippou get spanked that just added to the punishment that people got to watch him be punished. I do want to ask if Miroku & Sango are going to get called on about the times they talk about people when they think they can't hear or the times they "snoop" when Inyasha/Kagome want to be alone along with Shippou being the "snoop" Anyway I am done babbling please keep writing this story you are doing well... don't listen to those reviewers that are being negative about parts of the story.

Great as usual. Shippo's quite the little fucker
isn't he? i agree that Shippo can be brat even
though this is a tad extreme. Good job & I hope
he gets another ass whoopin.

This is a very good story but I don't think shippo is this mean!

....shippo's being a damn spoiled rotten pathetic annoying little freakin bratt. nice chapter by the way

First, to Krusoe: I was aware that Ayame's a product of the anime. Until Takahashi directly condradicts the existance of Ayame, I don't think it's wrong or unreasonable to count her as canon, especially for the purposes of a fanfic. The anime, whether you think it did a good job of translating the manga or not, is official merchandise, with (I imagine) approval from the writer. As far as I know, Takahashi owns the copyright for Inuyasha and her characters, and, IIRC, owns one of the production companiues that had a part in producing the anime. I doubt the writers would or could plop in a character as important as Kouga's intended without some sort of approval from her. Just like Harlequin from the Batman animated series, and just like every character and event in the Star Wars expanded universe, it's canon until it's not. That is, it's canon until the writer says it's not. But, your mileage may vary. And Kouga's been very dishonest (though it's mostly to himself) about his feelings. He knew Kagome less than a day before he was shouting his "love" for her. Sorry, it doesn't happen that fast. If you add up all the time he spent with her, it probably wouldn't add up to a week. If he was honest with himself, he'd figure out it's probably just an infatuation. Not that there's anything wrong with that, we've all had crushes that were "totally true love."

And to the writer: And I still don't see your logic in picturing Shippo doing that. Yes, he's selfish (most people are) and spoiled (most children are), that doesn't make him a sociopath. I agree that because he never gets disciplined (except for the smacks to the head that are immediately undone by Kagome's reaction) his behaviour would escalate and escalate, until he did something potentially life threatening, but I believe that he has his limits. Calling him a Sesshoumaru in training is a little harsh , IMO. Even when you see him transform to torment Inuyasha, it's more of a "let's annoy him" thing, not a "lets open some psychological wounds" thing. And while, yes, it's not uncommon for children to taunt other children over the death of their parents, there are two problems with Shippo doing what he did. 1) It's too sophisticated. Most of Shippo's pranks (that I've seen) are purely spur of the moment. For him to pull this off, he'd have to think of it, decide it's a good idea, figure out how to best get the information, wait for Myouga, come up with a good reason for asking for the information (because he'd have to be smart enough to know Myouga wouldn't tell him if the reason was to play a cruel joke), and then after having a discussion with Myouga and convincing him to tell, actually executing the prank. He's just a child, there's no way he'd think of it on his own. And 2) he's not that kid. Never once has he made fun of, or insulted Inuyasha's mother. He hasn't even really made fun of Inuyasha for being a Hanyou, except for when they first met. If he had it in him to transform into Inuyasha's mother, you'd expect some build up along those lines. To jump to something so drastically cruel on his own isn't realistic. Having said that, if it turns out that someone else put him up to it, and convinced Shippo that everyone'd have a good laugh over it, I'd have absolutely no problem imagining it happening. Really, the worst thing I could see him doing on his own is transforming into Kagome or Kikyo and telling Inuyasha off, and that's only if he got really mad. It seemed like you got fed up with the way Shippo's written in most fanfics (where he is a little snot who could get away with murder because he's a child) that in wanting him to get his just desserts, you had him do something overly harsh and out of character so that he'd get it, and then you had some overkill with the punishment. I tend to do the same thing with Kouga and Shippo for those reasons. (Though I don't post mine, there's enough bad fanfiction out there already. And I say that as someone who hates kids and would like to see Shippo booted across the room a few times.

And to the reviewers whining about how bad of a person the author is: He likes to write parts in his stories about women and children being beaten. Get over it. If after Hate, A Paddle For Shippo, and Payback you don't know what to expect from this writer, that's your problem. If you do know what to expect from him, read the story anyway, and get offended, that's still your problem. He hasn't even done anything that bad or offensive in this story. And him writing those scenes doesn't make him a bad person. Stephen King's written worse things about child molestation and violence toward women and childen, (It, for example) that doesn't make him a bad person either. It just makes him someone who enjoys writing about darker things than most people. Stop giving him bad reviews because you hated Hate.

As for the actual chapter: Now that's what I'm talking about! Great, great chapter, no bad aftertaste at all. I can totally see Kagome voicing that revelation, and having that epiphany about Inuyasha's behaviour, I can see her friends having that reaction to the beads being off, and I can see Shippo (thinking Inuyasha's cast a spell) trying to get the beads back on him. And the method of Inuyasha's mother's death, can't hate on the cement shoes, though I like it better when people write her as being burned alive... I know that sounded really horrible, but it makes for good stories. This chapter was as good, if not better than the first chapter. And the story works well as an exploration of the darker implications of the rosary, and the group's dynamic when it comes to how they behave toward Inuyasha. Are Miroku and Sango going to get called out on talking about Inuyasha behind his back when he can hear them? (Hey as rude and horrible as Inuyasha can be he's never done anything like that, and that's about as low as you can go when it comes to back-stabbing without actually back-stabbing.)

I must say this is a very blunt and painfully straight up front story that I have ever come across. I have read stories that glosses over the rosary and Shippou' s treatment of Inuyasha. Like it was nothing. I honestly can see it. I agree with the spanking though I probably wouldn't have gone that far with punishment. But yes Shippou is VERY spoiled. very selfish and given a chance he would hurt Inuyasha. I found Shippou to be a prime example of a dirty nasty bully. And yes CHILDERN CAN BE BULLIES to ADULTS!! I have seen it and it distrubs me that they so much power over adults. And your story you have taken away any sugar coating and teddy bears and ballons from the "reality" (it is after all a manga) of the characters. I do agree with removing the rosary whole heartedly. And for the reviewer who said Kagome shouldn't be giving a damn about her schooling. YES ONLY IF she was a North American. BUT please note in Japan.. If you FAIL a grade you are require to repeat that grade AND YOU MUST complete and pass the next grade AT the same time!!! example Kagome fails grade 7 then she must take grade 7 again and be excepted to pass grade 8 the same year. PLUS they must attend Cram schools.. This is way she gets upset about her schooling. With us North Americans we just repeat that year failed. I hope to see some pretty serious (and can I request nicely detailed?) ass kicking to be handed out by Inuyasha and Kagome. I can't wait to see what will happen with Kouga. So keep up the good work.

I love this fic! Please continue!
Just don't make Shippo too evil. XD
But the open feelings thing with Inuyasha is totaly possible.
Update often,
-Jenna-

great story update

So it seems like you just write for the masses, huh? Shippo, a smaller, younger version of Sess. Again, you seem to not have grasped any of the personality traits that Takahashi-san has imbued her colorful and full-dimentional characters with. You take one completely distorted aspect and simply 'run with it,' drastically and callously butchering the characters and destroying any preset relationships and connections between them, resulting in a choppy flow and almost no 'real' character dynamic and interaction. Have you ever read any of the manga (the non-Viz translations) or watched the anime (though it's mostly fillers and doesn't do justice to Takahashi's work)? Have you seen the changes, though subtle, that occur in Sess before you blatantly and hindsightingly stereotype him as 'malicious and cruel.' Maybe at the beginning he was, but you don't seem to understand the changes in his character or that he does experience emotions other than cruelty; he just doesn't express them as directly as the other characters. As for Shippo, he's a child. Children misbehave, hell I've seen them do worse than the 'pranks' he plays on Inuyasha. And Inuyasha does give him a rather cruel beating after the pranks (but alas you decided to leave that out or ignore it in favor of the 'poor man/hanyou being brutalized by Kagome the bitch and her little pansy shippo') even when Shippo simply says something that pisses him off. Spanking children (and though shippo may be older than he looks, youkai development seems to take longer than human and so he still is a child, an orphan) and deriving a sick, twisted pleasure out of it, clearly depicted in Inuyasha's reaction to the spanking, is just disgusting and inhuman. But you see no problem in carelessly and callously brutalizing people, children and women, in your work. That, to me, is the saddest thing of all.

Oh Shippou this plan of yours is going to get you into alot of trouble. Besides I don't think the rosary will work for you unless you are going to try and sneak it on to Inuyasha. But there isn't any spell so that means Kagome will just take it off... maybe she should put it on Shippou this time it would most likely do him some good. And yes I think Inuyasha would have opened up a bit they did agree to and he was human so he is more open then. Update soon please.