rate_review Reviews

This doesn't sound good...*bites on fingernails* But it's so gooooood!!!! I love this story!! Update soon, guys, I love it!

When I read the warning at the beginning of the chapter I thought, poor Kagome. As I read on and found out it was Kanaye my jaw dropped. I was so not expecting that one. Thank you for sparing us the details though. I wonder if Mukuro will be spitefull and end up telling Kagome. That would be bad, she would feal so guilty and be so mad at Hiei for being sadistic. Can't wait for the next chapter to find out about her grandfather and to see the reactions if Yusuke delivers the message. Those three need to just get together and get it over with.

Good, Kagome could stand her ground against Mukuro. The lemon was really hot, grat chapter.

Wow. Way to miss the point of Ogen's review, authors and reviewers. Ogen's not calling for happy fic. Ogen's not complaining about the lack of sunshine and bunnies. Ogen is - quite clearly - saying that it's not the mood that's the problem here; it's the way it's written. The plot. The characterization. And I, personally, agree with him (her?) This fic isn't "dark." It isn't "edgy." It's EMO. And it's pedestrian, lackluster emofic, for that matter.

Who is this depressed, angsting Kagome? She bears no relation at all to canon Kagome. Some OOCness I can forgive, because I firmly believe that it's a necessary evil in fanfiction, but you have to start your characterization with the canon version of the character, and I'm seeing nothing of the real Kagome in your fic. Her lover got her pregnant and then left her? And she gets all weepy? Hell no. Kagome would blow her top so hard, her neighbors would be calling the police. And then two days later, she'd be her sunny, happy self again. That's just the way she is. If you're going to deviate this much from canon characterization, you have to take the time to set it up and tell us why she's so different now. You haven't done that. You simply start the fic with a radically different version of Kagome - an UNRECOGNIZABLE version - with no explanation for why she's so off. And you still haven't provided an explanation. "Inuyasha died" isn't sufficient. People suffer major losses all the time without radically altering the basic characteristics of their personalities. You have to do better if it's going to be believable.

And that's just characterization. I don't even know where to begin with your plot. As I doubt you'd appreciate the time I'd put into a thorough critique, I won't waste my time. Suffice it to say, it's not the mood that's the problem here. I like dark. I like reading about fucked-up, dysfunctional relationships. I love it when bad things happen to good characters. But only if it's well-written and believable. This isn't.

Wow, I wish Kagome had purified her ass. She deserves it. Bigger question is will they stay at Mukuros now that this has happened. Altho I still think Yusuke needs to take himself out of the picture too but it's not my call. Please update soon. This is great.

I THINK YOUR STORY IS COMING ALONG GREAT , BUT I WISH KOGAME HAD MORE OF A BACKBONE .

that was so hot, i need a cold shower. Can't wait to see what his punishment is... Update soon my queen *hands you Aoshi cookies*

Personally, I believe we humans define our happiness through the lack of pain and misery - so how the hell can we believe that fanfiction would be any different? Life is painful, end of story. People that dont believe that are naive to the point of idiocy and should be shot on sight, or at least stoned for annoying the rest of us realists. I, and obviously many others, believe your stories are right on the mark and spectacularly beautiful as you take characters on BELIEVABLE life journeys. The cherry and whip cream on the top of this mile high dessert is the part of your stories where all the pain turns out as a good thing - makes them stronger, more bonded, and the LOVE is easier to believe besides "Inuyasha slept with Kikyo, you saved me therefore I love you " type crap that we see out there all the time. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for writing. And PLEASE continue to do so. Ignore the die hard optimists out there that dont realize that they are just inexperienced. Good job ladies, we love you!

This is as far as I can make it with what you obvious think is interesting material. I really don't know where this trend started, but your plot is weak at best and relies entirely on "shock-factor" material and over-dramatic, ineffective "tragedy" moments that are completely unbelievable. The characterization doesn't read as an echo of the characters in another situation but what you think will garner to most gasps and cries from your dubious audience. I was particularly unimpressed with the spontaneous addition of supposed friends slipping date-rape drugs into drinks because they thought your Kagome was in a bad relationship. I realize you plan to use it as a major plot point, but that doesn't change that it was in both poor taste and poor execution. These are tired and painful machinations for moving a story forward, and if you have to use them to make your work interesting, it doesn't say much for you as a writer.

you have a good story no one should be saying anything bad about it. It's your stroy so you write it the way you want to write