schedule
December 20, 2005 at 12:00 AM
this is really a beautiful story. i do have some constructive criticism. please don't take this as an attack or flame. it's siple some advice.
it desperatly needs a beta. or at least a thorough look over before posting it.
next thing. i love how you gave a history of Sesshoumaru's mother and father. it was totally helpful. and the term explainations made it much easier.
i sorta had a hard time following the sequence of events. a little more detail would definatley to polish it up and easier to follow.
consider rewriting it. the story line is excellent and i'm excited to read the next part (Update soon please).
if having a beta is uncomfortable i recommend using these techniques for critiqeuing the story:
1) try writing it on a computer program first
2) make a rough draft. look it over. check for any errors; spell check is a life savor
3) set it down for awhile then go back. this allows for a fresh perspective. it makes it easier to spot any mistakes.
4) most importantly try looking at it from the point of view of a reader. is the wording understandable (no jumbled sentences)? does it make sense?
this story is going to be awsome anyways but these hints might help a little.
with good intentions and lots of love,
Dreamfool
PS i had to look this review over three times before it made any since.
it desperatly needs a beta. or at least a thorough look over before posting it.
next thing. i love how you gave a history of Sesshoumaru's mother and father. it was totally helpful. and the term explainations made it much easier.
i sorta had a hard time following the sequence of events. a little more detail would definatley to polish it up and easier to follow.
consider rewriting it. the story line is excellent and i'm excited to read the next part (Update soon please).
if having a beta is uncomfortable i recommend using these techniques for critiqeuing the story:
1) try writing it on a computer program first
2) make a rough draft. look it over. check for any errors; spell check is a life savor
3) set it down for awhile then go back. this allows for a fresh perspective. it makes it easier to spot any mistakes.
4) most importantly try looking at it from the point of view of a reader. is the wording understandable (no jumbled sentences)? does it make sense?
this story is going to be awsome anyways but these hints might help a little.
with good intentions and lots of love,
Dreamfool
PS i had to look this review over three times before it made any since.
schedule
December 20, 2005 at 12:00 AM
PPS if you'd like a second beta i can be reached at Heyashleyjude@AOL.com
schedule
December 20, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I can help be your beta. Beta is someone who helps correct grammar and spelling, am I correct? I am very good in that department. I can help you, if you should want it...
schedule
November 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hey good story (I love Sesshy, he's my favorite character...who's very hot lol) but for some reason I love it when the poor, poor sexy demon gets raped *cries*. Anyway, you're doing fine, but it's a little rushed. You may want to consider a beta. (I have no life and am home all day, so I'd be happy to help ya ^.~)
schedule
November 21, 2005 at 12:00 AM
please update soon!
schedule
November 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
hey, i like this. it's getting good. one problem, i'm not seeing any Naraku, but i am seeing inuyasha. when do we get to see the 2 demons (while one full, one half) meet. write more.
schedule
November 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
(...) WHAT THE HELL!!!
schedule
November 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You need to get a beta reader. You have many spelling and grammar errors in your story.
Other than that I like it so far. It just needs the spelling fixed.
Other than that I like it so far. It just needs the spelling fixed.
schedule
November 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Please update so far it's good
schedule
November 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Aw, I think that was pretty good for your first Inuyasha fic. I know I'm hooked. ;] I can't wait to see what Inuyasha will do to poor Sesshomaru. And yum, Naraku and Sess together is one bundle of hotness.
The only suggestion I would have is that you run your stories through a beta reader or at least a spell check. Don't worry though, I have a ton of mistakes in my story that I only caught after rereading (woops). It happens to us all.
Anyway, I can't wait for more!
The only suggestion I would have is that you run your stories through a beta reader or at least a spell check. Don't worry though, I have a ton of mistakes in my story that I only caught after rereading (woops). It happens to us all.
Anyway, I can't wait for more!