schedule
November 29, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You better update. there is no way i'm going to let this slide. you will update and you will like it. please and thank you. love the story by the way.
schedule
November 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You're heading in the right direction, but you need to improve on your spelling and grammer. Try writting in paragraphs to that the story is more organised and clear. Take your time, there is no need to hurry.
I suggest you get a proof-reader, he or she can help you improve.
Other than that, its a good fic, nice effort.
I suggest you get a proof-reader, he or she can help you improve.
Other than that, its a good fic, nice effort.
schedule
November 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Well it seemed a bit rushed and there were some misspelled words. However, other than that good job!
schedule
November 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Woah, what an ending line.....heh, well. I like your story so far, (and the part about the hose). Well, keep up the good work and I'll review you agaon when you post chapter two. Bye bye! ^_^