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January 7, 2006 at 12:00 AM
wow........thats pretty much that comes to mind. WOW! i'm crying still. you are a great wuthor. i hope you update and continue to write whether it is this story or others. you have a great talent for drawing people in and helping to create the scene in our minds. you story rocks. peace
schedule
December 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Juhu Great Chapter ! I Hope for a Sesshomaru/Kurama/Hiei/ Youko Pairing but I Love the other Boys too ^^ ( They are all so sexy >.< drooooooll ^^)
Please update soon ^^
Please update soon ^^
schedule
December 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Love it!!!!!!Please update soon. email me.
schedule
December 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I like this story. I wonder who the 'violet-eyed' guy was who took 'Kun' away. There wasn't even a struggle. He just got up and you switched scenes... And doesn't Kagome's family know about Kun? Or is he a complete secret?
I have a few complaints: You should really proof read it when you have the time. There are a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes throughout the chapters. You also don't put the characters names in most paragraphs. The only ones you've constantly named are Kagome, Hiten and Bankotsu. You always write 'he' or 'she' instead. You've done this throughout the enitre story and it's really annoying. I actually thought someone would point this out by now... It's difficult (until the end of the paragraph and/or dialogue) for readers to know who you're talking about (Ex.: "But at least he had one redeeming trait.
He was almost disturbingly determined to succeed in whatever he put his mind too. No matter how many times he’s failed. For example: beating Sesshoumaru in a fight. Doubtful but he was stubbornly, pig headed and determined to one day better his brother. Sibling rivalry--how beautiful."). The only way the reader knows who you're talking about is because you mention Sesshomaru and beating 'his brother'. You also mention the IQ bit, but unless the reader is really paying attention and remember that particular scene they won't know who you're speaking of. So please refrain from using 'he' and 'she' excessively.
In any case, I think I'm done. The plot, though a little far-fetched (which is not always a bad thing), is well thought out. Pleaase update soon.
~Animefreak242
aka
Kawaii Girl
I have a few complaints: You should really proof read it when you have the time. There are a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes throughout the chapters. You also don't put the characters names in most paragraphs. The only ones you've constantly named are Kagome, Hiten and Bankotsu. You always write 'he' or 'she' instead. You've done this throughout the enitre story and it's really annoying. I actually thought someone would point this out by now... It's difficult (until the end of the paragraph and/or dialogue) for readers to know who you're talking about (Ex.: "But at least he had one redeeming trait.
He was almost disturbingly determined to succeed in whatever he put his mind too. No matter how many times he’s failed. For example: beating Sesshoumaru in a fight. Doubtful but he was stubbornly, pig headed and determined to one day better his brother. Sibling rivalry--how beautiful."). The only way the reader knows who you're talking about is because you mention Sesshomaru and beating 'his brother'. You also mention the IQ bit, but unless the reader is really paying attention and remember that particular scene they won't know who you're speaking of. So please refrain from using 'he' and 'she' excessively.
In any case, I think I'm done. The plot, though a little far-fetched (which is not always a bad thing), is well thought out. Pleaase update soon.
~Animefreak242
aka
Kawaii Girl
schedule
November 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Wow...that was amazing...This is the first time I read your story and I could not stop. Please update soon
schedule
November 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Wow, girl! I can honestly say that was a great fight scene! It was so orginal and I loved Kagome's true form. Thanks for updating also, I know this was probably a bitch to add to. But nevertheless it was wonderful. Talk to you soon, darlin'.
Ja ne
Kura-kun's-lovr
Ja ne
Kura-kun's-lovr
schedule
November 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Love the new chapter. I'm almost tempted to draw a picture of Kagome in her true form like you described. Maybe If I get the time lol Glad to see that she won, I look forward to the next chapter. Update soon please
schedule
November 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Update sooon! I want to see Shessy and Kags have a great round of steamy sex! And i really want to see this battle! I know Kags can do it but im assuming there shall be a twist! 0_0 100000000000000/10
schedule
October 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Yes!!!! Love it. Can't wait to see what the battle is like. Up date soon!!!!
schedule
October 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story alot. Can you write some more chapters? Can the pairing be Sess and Kagome or Sess, Kagome, and Inuyasha please?