rate_review Reviews

Okay so I like it very much but.......
Maybe you should revise it 'cause it's.. I don't know how to say this, but the sentences are not good phrased/formulated and that fact is not doing this otherwise splandid and fun story any good.
To bad you know 'cause I like this type of fictions very much (I mean the TG ones *chuckles*)

OMG!!!
What made you think of this story?
Don't get me wrong I enjoyed it but it could have been better.
I agree with the reviewers who have posted before me. If you get rid of the character speak then re-write the story it would flow better.
Add more descriptions !!!

PS,
Good Job!!!
GoddessKay

love the story....

Don't rush lemon, please. It comes across as hokey and really impacts the story as a whole. I knew someone had asked for a fic like this a while ago, but this is poor implimentation. If you'd be willing to re-work it, I'd be more than happy to beta it for you. Just drop me an e-mail at the above address.

This has the oppertunity to be an awesome and very arousing story, but wriitng it in chatspeak and rushing the lemon isn't the greatest thing to do. Perhaps you'd consider rewritting it? Get rid of the chatspeak and add in actual dialogue with descriptions, too. The more description the better. You should write like some of the yuri writers on this site. They use lots of description and don't write in chat speak.

Like i said, this story is promising, it could be very, very amazing and wonderful. But you just need to change some things. Good luck! <3