schedule
January 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
.......................... You shouldn't even try..
schedule
February 8, 2007 at 12:00 AM
When you write a story you need to add details. I think I would like the story line if it had more of a form to it. The way it is now is boring. You don't tell how or why thay got closer or how long they were to together. You just skipped all of the story and went right into the point. Keep trying and I think it can be good.
schedule
December 18, 2006 at 12:00 AM
....
schedule
October 12, 2006 at 12:00 AM
What the hell was that besides a jumbled mess? Go. Work. On. It. Now. That was the worst "fic" I've ever seen.
schedule
December 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Keep working on an update. Cause I'll be back.
schedule
October 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
u gonna continue this? its really cool...i luff it
schedule
September 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This is a good story, but to be honest, it needs alot of work. Everything is crammed into one paragraph and that makes it extremely hard to read. Also, you need to watch your spelling and capitalization. If you want, I can be your beta. I am not the best writer, but I can at least help you by checking your spelling and grammar. If you need me to beta your story, just send it to me as an attachment. My email is Sango916@hotmail.com
schedule
September 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Nice premise, bad spelling and capitalization, no paragraph breaks...a bit of reworking and lengthening, and this could be good. I'd suggest a beta reader though.
schedule
September 1, 2005 at 12:00 AM
make it longer and more detailed please