AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Sweet Surrender

by inumom

person DA
schedule August 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I don't know about anyone else but I would personally be going ...eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.... so what you're telling me is that I indirectly birthed myself... o_O *twitch* ...
person The C&C Bandit
schedule August 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I must say, I am very impressed by your collection of writings. I have read several and each one has managed to put a new spin on an old concept, as well as create a few new concepts to feast my mind on. For the life of me, I do NOT know why people have rated certain of your fics as 4 stars. I suppose it’s the fact that people on AFF tend to not appreciate quality unless it’s quality with citrus. Rest assured, each one of your tales deserves a full 5 stars.

Your writing style has always been a major plus (not to mention the fact that you obviously use your spell-check). However, this being your first venture into the 1st person perspective (at least that you have posted on AFF), I would like to offer some advice.

While the style itself is sound, there are times where the fic feels ‘incomplete’. This is always a danger when writing in first person; the author is unable to grant the reader a full perspective. To compensate for this, the author MUST add extra detail to let the reader infer things that the character might not have picked up on. While you have done this to a certain extent, you could even take it a step further.

Another thing to consider might be to have the character telling the story from a perspective that is obviously futuristic – as in YEARS later than the events they are describing. That way they can relate what others might have told them during the years since the events. It helps make for a more rounded story.

Obviously, you are already employing these techniques to a relatively good extent. I am merely saying that you should consider using them more…

Again, this is fabulous work! You are by far one of the best authors I have come across in a long while. Thank you for your efforts to improve the IY fan fic community.
person MJ
schedule August 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I totally love this story I just read the whole thing in one go and can't wait to see what you do with it next.
person inugirl2003
schedule August 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
love it, love it, love it! keep it up :)
person redtatsu
schedule August 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Absoulutely WONDERFUL!!! Looking forward to your next story.
person amber michele
schedule August 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
OMFG!!! so far that was the besssssst story i have read on here! great job doing this i cant wait for more!!!!

-amber
person Misty
schedule August 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WRITE MORE SOON!!!!
person Anon
schedule August 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I love this story. It's completely magical,funny,romantic,and just wonderful i can't wait to read more.
person Megan Consoer
schedule August 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story alot. Can you write some more chapters?
person chanda
schedule August 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Your story so far is beautifully written, I would love to read more.