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October 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
another great chapter please update again soon
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October 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
*Grins*I'm so glad that you updated, I can't wait to find out what happened to Kagome. Keep up the good work!
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September 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
O_O omg...inuyasha, what the hell are you thinking?
Wow, what a turn of events since my last review...I so can't wait for more, this keeps getting more interesting by the min.
Sel~
Wow, what a turn of events since my last review...I so can't wait for more, this keeps getting more interesting by the min.
Sel~
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September 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Please understand that I have nothing against inserting untranslatable (or just difficult to translate) Japanese words or phrases into an English-based fanfic written for a series of Japanese origin. Examples in the IY world would include: Youkai, Saimyosho, their given names, etc.
It is your choice to insert mundane Japanese words in your fic, but please make sure that it is the correct usage and grammar. Otherwise, it can come off as inane and awkward for those who understand Japanese and are trying to go through your story. For instance, the story title is still incorrect (it makes no sense in Japanese). Also,u‚ ‚È‚½‚ÍŽ„‚Ì—F’B‚Å‚•‚©Hvis the correct title for your second chapter instead of what it currently is. As for using u‚Í‚¢v all the time, that wouldnft necessarily be the case since some characters (depending upon the situation), uses u‚ ‚ vAu‚¤‚ñv, u‚»‚¤‚ËvAu‚»‚¤‚Å‚•‚ËvAetc. When I was speaking about gWatashi wa yowaii jyanai desu yo!h isnft Kagomefs speech pattern, please understand that Kagome is not the type to add on gdesu yoh to the end of her sentences. In fact, if you understand this declaration to be spoken either privately (shefs alone), or in front of Inuyasha (very common occurance), shefll say it as gWatashi wa yowaii jyanai!h or gWatashi wa yowaii jyanain desu!h. The gdesu yoh affects her characterization, and thatfs why Ifm bringing it and the random insertion of Japanese up. Characterizations for the various characters can be affected if the wrong word choice is made, unless youfre very sure of it.
Therefore my request, as a reader, is that if you are to mix the two languages up, please make sure that the words chosen are used correctly.
You may also choose to view this as a complaint, but I hope that you understand and accept it for what it is, which is constructive criticism.
It is your choice to insert mundane Japanese words in your fic, but please make sure that it is the correct usage and grammar. Otherwise, it can come off as inane and awkward for those who understand Japanese and are trying to go through your story. For instance, the story title is still incorrect (it makes no sense in Japanese). Also,u‚ ‚È‚½‚ÍŽ„‚Ì—F’B‚Å‚•‚©Hvis the correct title for your second chapter instead of what it currently is. As for using u‚Í‚¢v all the time, that wouldnft necessarily be the case since some characters (depending upon the situation), uses u‚ ‚ vAu‚¤‚ñv, u‚»‚¤‚ËvAu‚»‚¤‚Å‚•‚ËvAetc. When I was speaking about gWatashi wa yowaii jyanai desu yo!h isnft Kagomefs speech pattern, please understand that Kagome is not the type to add on gdesu yoh to the end of her sentences. In fact, if you understand this declaration to be spoken either privately (shefs alone), or in front of Inuyasha (very common occurance), shefll say it as gWatashi wa yowaii jyanai!h or gWatashi wa yowaii jyanain desu!h. The gdesu yoh affects her characterization, and thatfs why Ifm bringing it and the random insertion of Japanese up. Characterizations for the various characters can be affected if the wrong word choice is made, unless youfre very sure of it.
Therefore my request, as a reader, is that if you are to mix the two languages up, please make sure that the words chosen are used correctly.
You may also choose to view this as a complaint, but I hope that you understand and accept it for what it is, which is constructive criticism.
schedule
September 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Too bad aff.net's review system doesn't support the use of Japanese characters. Here's a (blunt but not meant to insult) recap then:
Story title is still makes no grammatical sense.
Second chapter title is still grammatically incorrect. (I did read your Author's Note in chapter 9.)
Characters (and everyday people), do not all use "hai" to indicate agreement always. There are other ways as well used by the IY cast.
Kagome is not the type to add "desu yo" to the end of her sentences. That would not fit w/in her personality and characterization.
Take what you will from this as I'd like to respond to your chapter 9 comment to me.
Story title is still makes no grammatical sense.
Second chapter title is still grammatically incorrect. (I did read your Author's Note in chapter 9.)
Characters (and everyday people), do not all use "hai" to indicate agreement always. There are other ways as well used by the IY cast.
Kagome is not the type to add "desu yo" to the end of her sentences. That would not fit w/in her personality and characterization.
Take what you will from this as I'd like to respond to your chapter 9 comment to me.
schedule
September 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story alot. Can you write some more chapters?
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September 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Ahhhhh evil evil cliffy!! But I like it a lot. I have a feeling that no matter what Inuyasha and Naraku have planned their schemes wont last for very long. Good chapter, update soon please.
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September 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Inuyasha you stupid dolt! I love it! Good job! Can't wait for another update!
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September 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I love this story. It has adventure,danger, and romance. I feel as if I was in the story. I can see how Kagome feels. It feels as if I'm in the stoy and I feel the saddness and happiness. It's like if I'm in the story. Write as soon as possible.
schedule
September 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story alot. Can you write some more chapters?