AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for I just want to be loved

by Ryoko7002002

person Inugirl1117
schedule June 20, 2005 at 12:00 AM
hey ..... I think it's great so far !!!!
person Angel of Immortality
schedule June 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Nice start. It would be better if it had longer chapters then that, bu that makes a nice introduction. Angel Sere
person senachan141
schedule June 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
AACK!!NO!!NO!!PLEASE DON'T CONTINUE!!THIS IS GOING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION!!
person Kim
schedule June 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
continue I want read some more ^_^
person invisible one
schedule June 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
::stares in shock::

okay... I can understand the fics where InuYasha is grown, but the child stories........
person TheMysticalDragon
schedule June 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Your story is good, but you need a little but of work on it. We all have our start somewhere. I agree with the other reviewers where you need to add atleast a line between spoken parts ie

"hello, how are you"

"Fine, Thank you"

And more detail. Writing is a good conductor for imagination, so dont skimp on details. Sometimes it takes more time setting the scene, but the better the description, the better the reader can imagine it!

Also when you are speaking to the reader use (A/N: ) or (Author's Note)

feel free to email me at ryo_oh_ki_78@yahoo.com
person lady
schedule June 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
what is there isn't bad, but not sure where you are going. might be neet to see.write some more and give us an idea of your writing stye and where it is going.
person Kailover
schedule June 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Interesting. I enjoyed that but its a bit 2 short. Keep up the good work and plz continue this story and could u make the chapters longer
person Becca
schedule June 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Your fic is really good so far, and just a word of advice, don't get mad or anything I'm just trying to help.

When you have two characters talking to each other, it helps to put a space between the sets of "". Also, don't forget your punctuation or grammer, some people can be real stiffs about that sort of thing and not be so nice in letting others know.

I would like to know if you need a beta reader, email me when if you want I won't be offended if you don't. I just hope I haven't offended you.

That's all for now. Keep up the fic writing.