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July 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
asfasffas
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June 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I thought this was a well written story and for a one-shot rather in-depth. I'm not a big fan of Kagome as a tough character but it really worked in this case and since you labeled this A/U I was expecting something different . I hope you continue writing on the site, whether it's on this fic or a new one. Bye =)
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June 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
god i LOVE virgin boys!!! they are so eager and willing, so much fun to play with!! this story was so hot and so streamy, honestly i need to go take a shower or go find a nice boy to manipulate. damn damn damn!!!
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June 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I Love this story! I have to say very cleaver of you. I never thought about wolf's mating with the whole pack. Very nice description of the lemon! Great One-Shot!
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June 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You have a knack for plot twists and creativity. I can't say as I have read many fics with this premise. So points for originality and running your work through a beta before posting. Your style could use a bit of refinement since the words you use don’t always flow well/sound right, but that’s a nitpick. Also, typically you don’t use the word ‘gonna’ in a story unless it’s in dialogue, but you managed to pull it off well enough, and the mood did call for you to be on the casual side of things. Your characterizations left much to be desired, however. Kagome and Inuyasha don’t remotely resemble themselves. I know it’s an AU but why not simply make this an original fic if you’re planning on making them so different? Also, Kagome is seemingly a badass, but not many badasses use the term ‘Good grief’. That’s way more Charlie Brown than Charles Manson. Your lemon was steamy and descriptive and if the characters had been stable, it would be one of the better ones I’ve seen in a long time. I hope to see work from you again.
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June 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You write well but I have to say that I could not enjoy the story because there was nothing that resembled Inuyasha and Kagome anywhere in it.
Instead of slapping famous anime names onto your original characters, why not just call it original fiction in the first place and use your own character names? It would eliminate people like me being disappointed because we bring our expectations about character behavior with us when we read the story.
Instead of slapping famous anime names onto your original characters, why not just call it original fiction in the first place and use your own character names? It would eliminate people like me being disappointed because we bring our expectations about character behavior with us when we read the story.
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June 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
That was oddly refreshing...I have to say this take on the whole losing the virginity thing was something that I've never read it that why before in this fandom...I liked it I hope you write again soon maybe exploring that whole Kagome takes Inuyasha's Inoccents, in a longer fic...I've never ever read a Inuyasha story with an Agressive Kagome that didn't make me want to toss my cookies. oooh now I'm getting all kinds of Ideas about it... ^_*
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June 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I really really liked this fic. You're a great writer, and I think some reviewers have been overly critical :) On the point of OOCness, I think it can be interesting, and in an AU fic, I expect it. Anyways, great story. Keep writing!