rate_review Reviews

nice nice i like

Hurry up with the next chap! i must have more! muhahaha

i love ur story sooo far! soo freakin kool!! i hope u post more chapters! can't wait to see where u go with this one! i love kagome and inuyasha fics! i love inuyasha!!! bastard at times.. thou.. , anyway! hope u keep writing this story! cuz i'll be reading and waiting!!!! please UPDATE SOOON!!!! PLEASE!?!?! *begs* thank u! -sahara

well, there are quite a few spelling mistakes and the character changes are a bit abrupt. you also might want to insert a bit more plot because it's pretty meaningless right now. cute but pointless. there is potential so advance the plot!

Please update ASAP!!!!!!

Your plotline is really good...I did see a great deal of grammatical errors, but I will gladly correct them for you. I would like to see how you're going to get him out of this. This story could end really quick, or it could go on for a long time depending on where you take it from here. If you do plan on it being a long story...I would like for you to do a little san/mir as a side couple if you don't mind. You have them vocal enough that you could easily bring them into bigger roles. Also, i really hope you put some kind of twist in here, so it doesn't sound like all of the other inuyasha/kagome stories. You know the routine...inu hurt kag, kag gets mad and cry, inu feels bad, they both get advice, then make up and have hot passionate sex. I'll be reading!

Your story has a lot of potential but your grammar skills are very poor. "I seen" or "she seen" is incorrect -- it should be "I saw" or "she saw" or "I had seen" or "she had seen". There are many, many, many more errors such as this one and it really is irritating to read your story with so many errors.

If English is NOT your first language, I can understand your problem, but you still need to get help.

If English IS your first language, then I can only assume you are too young to have learned any grammar skills and you should not be posting stories or reading them on this web site. AFF is for adults. If you are an adult, go get help, because it is clear that you do not have a high school level education.

not bad! keep writing!

Great start! followed traditional Inuyasha and the closing paragraph leaves readers in suspense!

good story so far. i'm not sure where u're going with it.. but still! good job! hope u pair up the usual.. kagome and inuyasha, sango and miroku! ^_^ !!! update soon! and good job again!!! dont stop u're writing! *dances to inuyasha theme song* woo!