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October 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You need to proofread. Re-read and read again until you have all the errors out, or you may want to get a beta reader. You need to watch out for run-on sentences, and make sure you have quotation marks at the beginning and end of the character's dialogue. Aldo, you may want to seperate thoughts somehow, like have them in italics or single-lined quotation marks.
On a positive note: It was an interesting story. First Human Inuyasha lemon I've read. Good job with the plot line.
On a positive note: It was an interesting story. First Human Inuyasha lemon I've read. Good job with the plot line.
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October 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
awwwww cute
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October 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
that was one of the most amazing fantastic inuyasha and kagome lemon stories i have ever read in my life
i hope you keep going
i hope you keep going
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October 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
pretty good, but it could use a bit more of a plot
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October 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
depending on how the babies are should determine the names, like if the boy is a half demon or a human, he could have a normal human name or something else. same for the girl, leave an authors not telling what the babies are, half or quarter demon, or human with a touch of demonic power.
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October 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
PLEASE CONTINUE WITH THIS STORY. I HAVE ENJOYED SO FAR.
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September 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Please continue this one, It is very good.
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July 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
WOW talk about amazing!!!!!
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July 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
i think u should continue writing it was graet
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June 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
i'd say go on but don't fast forward like the others do keep them young and the children still baby's for a while
i hate when people fast forward .....nice.
i hate when people fast forward .....nice.