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May 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
wow good job i like the way you made Inuyasha ask Kagome out it was good i cant waite to see what you have instore for Inuyasha and Kagome after her on the floor saying that lol UPDATE SOON!!
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May 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
so you know u spell vadka vodka. just thought u should know since u wrote that u wasnt sure. i love your story update soon.
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May 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
hey i really loved this story....IT WAS GOOD!. lol and thank you for reviewing mine ;))
~*ChYnNa aka SeSsAmI_cHy_SaMa*~
~*ChYnNa aka SeSsAmI_cHy_SaMa*~
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May 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Darling, I'm afraid you have no idea what a lemon is. These chapters are far too short! I'm amazed you've attracted this many visitors in the first place.
Please put in a lemon and lengthen the chapters. Then I might return. :-)
Please put in a lemon and lengthen the chapters. Then I might return. :-)
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May 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
OKAY!!!!!!!
WHAT IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!! AND DONT WORRY ITS NOT A FALME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THE STORY!!!!!!!!!!!! EVEN IF U'R MAKING INUYASHA AND KAGOME IN A WEIRD REALTIONSHIP.
SO KEEP UPDATING!!!!!!! AND JUST IGNORE THE BAD COMMENTS FROM PEOPLE,OKAY!!!
BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!! AND DONT WORRY ITS NOT A FALME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THE STORY!!!!!!!!!!!! EVEN IF U'R MAKING INUYASHA AND KAGOME IN A WEIRD REALTIONSHIP.
SO KEEP UPDATING!!!!!!! AND JUST IGNORE THE BAD COMMENTS FROM PEOPLE,OKAY!!!
BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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May 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I dont think i like ur dad i want to read more about what is going to happen please update soon and dont let parents get in the way please UPDATE
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May 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This story does show some potential. However, would it hurt you to show a little more attention to detail? And pay a little more attention to spelling and grammer? Every time a character speaks should be a new paragraph. Capitalization wouldn't hurt when a proper name is used, or when a new sentence begins.
I realize that fanfiction is for fun, but a little attention to the detail wouldn't hurt.
I realize that fanfiction is for fun, but a little attention to the detail wouldn't hurt.
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May 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Why would you want to delete your story? It's really good!!
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May 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
That chapter was much, much better. It was easier to read, therefore more enjoyable. Keep up the good work.
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May 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
No, don't delete the story. You have reviewers, which means that you've kept people interested in your fiction. It means they care about it--and that's a good thing!
What you've been getting is constructive criticism, but no flames (unless you've deleted them). These reviewers want your story to become better, to have it be easier to read. You should listen to their ideas and maybe get a beta reader or someone to help you with grammar. Nobody has complained about content (except fighting), and that's what matters.
On the other hand, unless you're foreign or with some sort of spelling disability, you cannnot be 18 years old. While I'm sure that many authors here are not, some of them manage to produce the idea that they are of proper age. You should do that too or go elsewhere. Your fiction as of now wouldn't be taken off FanFiction.net (http://www.fanfiction.net). Go there unless it will soon be rated R or NC-17. Also to produce the idea that you're 18, use a spelling and grammar checker. This is critical! if you have Microsoft Word 97 or later, you have a good spell/grammar check utility. If you don't have it or an equivalent, get OpenOffice (http://www.openoffice.org) for free.
I'd be willing to beta read your fiction for you! I won't say anything mean or rude, just give suggestions and correct spelling and grammar. Don't let these people discourage you or rush you. It's your fiction. Just write for yourself and improve for your readers.
What you've been getting is constructive criticism, but no flames (unless you've deleted them). These reviewers want your story to become better, to have it be easier to read. You should listen to their ideas and maybe get a beta reader or someone to help you with grammar. Nobody has complained about content (except fighting), and that's what matters.
On the other hand, unless you're foreign or with some sort of spelling disability, you cannnot be 18 years old. While I'm sure that many authors here are not, some of them manage to produce the idea that they are of proper age. You should do that too or go elsewhere. Your fiction as of now wouldn't be taken off FanFiction.net (http://www.fanfiction.net). Go there unless it will soon be rated R or NC-17. Also to produce the idea that you're 18, use a spelling and grammar checker. This is critical! if you have Microsoft Word 97 or later, you have a good spell/grammar check utility. If you don't have it or an equivalent, get OpenOffice (http://www.openoffice.org) for free.
I'd be willing to beta read your fiction for you! I won't say anything mean or rude, just give suggestions and correct spelling and grammar. Don't let these people discourage you or rush you. It's your fiction. Just write for yourself and improve for your readers.