schedule
January 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
this is a great story dude!! i can't wait for your next chapter ^.^
schedule
January 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Oooo me like. Update soon please!!!!^_^
schedule
January 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I really like it, i can't wait to see how the rest of the plot develops. the only type of contructive critisism i have is this sentance
"She seen it again, but this time she seen the source"
'seen' isn't the appropriate word, it would make more sence to use 'saw' or 'noticed' or even 'but this time she HAD seen the source'
I know when you get into a zone for writing, you don't really noice these kind of mistakes, or thats something you would say if you were speaking the story as a kind of slang, but it just doesn't make scence. :o)
"She seen it again, but this time she seen the source"
'seen' isn't the appropriate word, it would make more sence to use 'saw' or 'noticed' or even 'but this time she HAD seen the source'
I know when you get into a zone for writing, you don't really noice these kind of mistakes, or thats something you would say if you were speaking the story as a kind of slang, but it just doesn't make scence. :o)
schedule
January 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
hey, cute story! finally someone had an anti-club kagome! i loathe dancing and all these wonderful fics that have clubs as central themes i could never get into! i keep trying but alas, it usually doesn't happen. hurray, it finally did!!! i hope inu and kag have a good time!!