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March 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
great post! is sess gonna beat up vin too? and what about miroku/sango? i really like them too, i dont think they're getting enough airtime... awww... and poor rin! damn! and i'm forseeing inu doubting kag! :( damn!
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March 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Ugh, not more nastiness... oh well it was worth it for some Inu/Kag lurve. YAY :) Poor Kagome... Great job, keep it up!
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March 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
woo hoo!!! Inuyasha didnt mess up...too badly! yay! (i kinda hope he takes the 'deal' with ryen. he needs to straighten out-haha) anyways, another great chappie.
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March 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hey awesome chapter. Finally another lemon. I was getting frustrated with the whole smoke, but no cigar thing. Sorry I use cliches, alot. As always an amazing chapter. UPDATE SOON. EK!
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March 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
this great
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March 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I spent all afternoon and half the night reading your story straight through. That is a rare thing for me. The story is fantastic, the angst tremendous, the family ties surprising, the horror intense, the love abundant. Let's not forget the action. I love it. I like that you have kept all the characters in their original pairings and as IC as possible given their individual situations and character growth. You did an excellent job keeping the character's original speech patterns. God, you did such a great job with Sesshoumaru's. I like how you made Kikyou out to be more than what she appeared. Your references to the classics were greatly appreciated and well timed. Your style is excellent. You made me laugh so hard and almost cry. That is the best compliment from me that anyone will ever get. I laughed so hard when Sesshoumaru sent Inuyasha into oblivian 55 minutes earlier. The way you wrote that was hilarious. There were other places that affected me similarly. As a reader and writer, I believe you got the response you were seeking.
Now, do not take this as an insult. I write and don't take criticism with grace sometimes either, but I'm hoping to do it constructively. I wouldn't take the time if I didn't like this story so much. Only for authors that I believe should be encouraged to continue do I give a review. A teacher once told me that sometimes you need two sets of eyes to find mistakes referring to having someone else take a look at the work, and she was right. No matter how many times I edit my stories, I come up short, finding mistakes later. What I found interesting in your story was not so much misspellings, typos or grammar mistakes. That's normal. What I found most surpising was the misuse of words and phrases that made some parts confusing at first. For instance, the word 'glare' in place of 'gaze' or 'glance'. Or 'peruse' in the place of 'pursue'. There were complete phrases that were misplaced given the circumstances. I would understand if 'american english' was not your first language. If it is, a beta reader would be of benefit, not for story plot or style, but simply for the mechanics, which can be confusing enough for those native to the english language. I have read some stories written by people for whom 'english' is a second language and have sometimes found his/her skills better than many american adults.
Let me say that these errors do not diminish your talent. Mechanics are tricky. If I am willing to overlook the errors, then know that it's a great story because I'm a freak when it comes to language. Misuse is like scraping nails down a chalkboard. You are good enough that I was happy to overlook it, a very rare thing indeed. Most other stories I would drop after the first few paragraphs. So, if you will get your story beta'd, I would love to put it on the website I am constructing. I just hope I haven't pissed you off so much that you would ignore the compliment and refuse. And, I hope you continue to write. I checked out your profile and will read your other story within the next couple of days.
Oh, and I haven't gotten the database corruption errors out of my story 'Kagome's Blood'. If you check me out and read it, please don't hold it against me. And, I don't have a beta either. Some beta's may take weeks to finish a chapter and I don't have that kind of patience. I don't do anonymous reviews. It's cowardly. So, flame me if you must. I'll understand.
Keep writing,
Snowfall aka Hanyou Slave
Now, do not take this as an insult. I write and don't take criticism with grace sometimes either, but I'm hoping to do it constructively. I wouldn't take the time if I didn't like this story so much. Only for authors that I believe should be encouraged to continue do I give a review. A teacher once told me that sometimes you need two sets of eyes to find mistakes referring to having someone else take a look at the work, and she was right. No matter how many times I edit my stories, I come up short, finding mistakes later. What I found interesting in your story was not so much misspellings, typos or grammar mistakes. That's normal. What I found most surpising was the misuse of words and phrases that made some parts confusing at first. For instance, the word 'glare' in place of 'gaze' or 'glance'. Or 'peruse' in the place of 'pursue'. There were complete phrases that were misplaced given the circumstances. I would understand if 'american english' was not your first language. If it is, a beta reader would be of benefit, not for story plot or style, but simply for the mechanics, which can be confusing enough for those native to the english language. I have read some stories written by people for whom 'english' is a second language and have sometimes found his/her skills better than many american adults.
Let me say that these errors do not diminish your talent. Mechanics are tricky. If I am willing to overlook the errors, then know that it's a great story because I'm a freak when it comes to language. Misuse is like scraping nails down a chalkboard. You are good enough that I was happy to overlook it, a very rare thing indeed. Most other stories I would drop after the first few paragraphs. So, if you will get your story beta'd, I would love to put it on the website I am constructing. I just hope I haven't pissed you off so much that you would ignore the compliment and refuse. And, I hope you continue to write. I checked out your profile and will read your other story within the next couple of days.
Oh, and I haven't gotten the database corruption errors out of my story 'Kagome's Blood'. If you check me out and read it, please don't hold it against me. And, I don't have a beta either. Some beta's may take weeks to finish a chapter and I don't have that kind of patience. I don't do anonymous reviews. It's cowardly. So, flame me if you must. I'll understand.
Keep writing,
Snowfall aka Hanyou Slave
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March 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Oh, I almost forgot. I really do appreciate the fact that your chapters are long and have a lot of meat to them instead of being short and leaving the reader to feel deprived of any real progress in the story. Thanks.
Snowfall aka Hanyou Slave
Snowfall aka Hanyou Slave
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March 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
yay! another great chappie.hope all goes well for Rin. the aftermath of rape is horrible. and poor sango, with her brother (not poor sango with Miroku....haha) anyways... just a note... if Inuyasha fucks up just ONE more time, i will personally save Kagome the trouble of hurting him, cause i'll do it myself!! please let this be his last fuck up. i fell so bad for them. And Kagome really needs him to be a good boy after what happened....please!!
thanks! ^_^
thanks! ^_^
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March 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
as long she aint seeing dead people she'll be ok this great update
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March 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
OHHH bad cliffy! i hope that was just a dream!