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January 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I only discovered this story tonight, and I've grown thoroughly addicted to it! Please write more!
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January 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I'm really surprised that this fic only has six reviews because this is a very well written fic. I don't come across many fics of this calibure of originality. Your angle is fresh and intriguing, I really enjoy the depth you've taken into the wolf-clan's past and Ginta's character. I'm also curious about your pairing, because it seems like a Kagome/Inuyasha pairing, but those scenes with Ginta... Whooo. Your descriptions of Ginta and Hakkaku's brokeness brought tears to my eyes.
Anyway, a couple things you might want to fix: When Kagome goes home you have her calling her mother 'Okaa-san' but in the show she always addresses her mother 'Mama'. That's not a big thing- but by changing the way she addresses her mother you're making a statement about the closeness of their relationship, was that intentional? Are you trying to show that Kagome and her mother have grown distant?
And, why is Kouga dying Kagome's fault? I know that's a major point of this whole story, but he was helping her voluntarily wasn't he? It wasn't like she coerced him into letting his guard down and holding her up right?
I just don't see much strength in her motivation to feel so extremely guilty about his death. True, guilt is a very real part of every survivor's feelings - but the extent to which Kagome berates herself seems unessesary and even mellow-dramatic at times. I was wondering if you could explain the events before his death better, like was she being really forceful with him when she asked him to hold her up? You don't say how she said it.
And finally, keep writing! I'm very very glad to see some refreshing, new, and well written fanfiction up in this catergory!! You've made a vast contribution to the Inuyasha Fandom. Yay you! :)
(ps everyone else: Read this fic! It's well written and heart wrentching at times. A beautiful twist with wonderful characterizations!)
Anyway, a couple things you might want to fix: When Kagome goes home you have her calling her mother 'Okaa-san' but in the show she always addresses her mother 'Mama'. That's not a big thing- but by changing the way she addresses her mother you're making a statement about the closeness of their relationship, was that intentional? Are you trying to show that Kagome and her mother have grown distant?
And, why is Kouga dying Kagome's fault? I know that's a major point of this whole story, but he was helping her voluntarily wasn't he? It wasn't like she coerced him into letting his guard down and holding her up right?
I just don't see much strength in her motivation to feel so extremely guilty about his death. True, guilt is a very real part of every survivor's feelings - but the extent to which Kagome berates herself seems unessesary and even mellow-dramatic at times. I was wondering if you could explain the events before his death better, like was she being really forceful with him when she asked him to hold her up? You don't say how she said it.
And finally, keep writing! I'm very very glad to see some refreshing, new, and well written fanfiction up in this catergory!! You've made a vast contribution to the Inuyasha Fandom. Yay you! :)
(ps everyone else: Read this fic! It's well written and heart wrentching at times. A beautiful twist with wonderful characterizations!)
schedule
January 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Grammar is spot it is just to bad your wasting your talent by writing a Ginta/Kagome pairing and truth be told Ginta is a secondary character that isn't supposed to have stories written about him and to pair him up with the lead female from the Inuyasha is just plain sad.
schedule
January 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You've completely captured me, I can't stop reading this story! I never thought of Ginta like this but it's a wonderful premise. Please update soon. I'm DYING to see what happens next!
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January 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
very awesome fic, had me laughing hysterically at Kagome's antics. I can't wait for the next update, but i have a question. What's the pairing?
schedule
January 1, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Sounds interesting update soon
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January 1, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I really really really like this story. I think its perfect just the way it is . Plz plz plz update soon …
schedule
January 1, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This story is so kewl please update in a hurry lol !!!