schedule
November 29, 2005 at 12:00 AM
this is so good plz do more and let me know ok thanks
schedule
August 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I like this story but I can onle give 3 stars insted of five due the mistakes. They are mostly grammer but there are soem punctuation mistakes as well.
If those mistakes were fixed I could give 5 stars though....
examples
ch.1=Kagome fuming stomped over to them slapping Kikyou she said, "You dirty slut,"
With the corrections= Fuming, Kagome stomped over to them, slapping Kikyo. "You dirty slut," she said.Oh I don't believe him he's such a jerk thought Kagome to herself.
'Oh, I don't believe him!He's such a jerk,' thought Kagome to herself. Or 'Oh, i can't believe him, he's such a jerk!' Kagome thought to herself.
Ch.2
There are several puntuations missing. = Approaching the caves was sinking below the horizon. Some wolves were asleep, but most were awake working on the day's hunt. When he slid in Hakkaku and Ginta came up and said, "Kouga its good to have you back," they paused, "sister Kagome?"
"Hey guys, anything happen while I was gone?"
It is confusing of who is speaking witht hat untimely break. the first part 'When they saw..." should be part of the last paragraph since it linked to it in events =
As they were approaching the caves the sun was sinking below the horizon. Some wolves were asleep, but most were awake working on the day's hunt. When he slid in Hakkaku and Ginta came up and said, "Kouga its good to have you back," they paused when they saw her behind Kouga. "Sister Kagome?"
Tehse are soem example of how soem corrections could really improve your story. I am not telling you how to write your story, only saying in ways you can improve the story. As I writer, I prefer it when someone tells me what I made a mistake on so I can fix it instead merely stating there are soem mistakes.
If those mistakes were fixed I could give 5 stars though....
examples
ch.1=Kagome fuming stomped over to them slapping Kikyou she said, "You dirty slut,"
With the corrections= Fuming, Kagome stomped over to them, slapping Kikyo. "You dirty slut," she said.Oh I don't believe him he's such a jerk thought Kagome to herself.
'Oh, I don't believe him!He's such a jerk,' thought Kagome to herself. Or 'Oh, i can't believe him, he's such a jerk!' Kagome thought to herself.
Ch.2
There are several puntuations missing. = Approaching the caves was sinking below the horizon. Some wolves were asleep, but most were awake working on the day's hunt. When he slid in Hakkaku and Ginta came up and said, "Kouga its good to have you back," they paused, "sister Kagome?"
"Hey guys, anything happen while I was gone?"
It is confusing of who is speaking witht hat untimely break. the first part 'When they saw..." should be part of the last paragraph since it linked to it in events =
As they were approaching the caves the sun was sinking below the horizon. Some wolves were asleep, but most were awake working on the day's hunt. When he slid in Hakkaku and Ginta came up and said, "Kouga its good to have you back," they paused when they saw her behind Kouga. "Sister Kagome?"
Tehse are soem example of how soem corrections could really improve your story. I am not telling you how to write your story, only saying in ways you can improve the story. As I writer, I prefer it when someone tells me what I made a mistake on so I can fix it instead merely stating there are soem mistakes.
schedule
August 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
i love the story and cant wait for the next one plz write more.
schedule
June 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
that was cool cant wait till the next chapter
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April 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I read the original "I hate you, I love you" It was great! Except now I'm aroused and nowhere to go, haha! :)
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March 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
hey...don't stop there.... plz update ^_^
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February 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This is good What is next update
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February 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I loved it!!! I've been waiting for a story like tthis!!!! and you got Inuyasha's stupidity down perfect!!! *smiles*
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January 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
come on when is the next one going to come?
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January 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
i love this story. i've seen very few good kag/koga fics.