AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Just Grind

by AJs

person brownrecluse
schedule April 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hi and thank you! While I may definitely rewrite 'Yousha' sometime soon (always tweaking away at things), for now, it's finished ... Thanks!
person BrownRecluse
schedule April 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I doooo envy your ability to write extended sexual scenes! Can we say, mini marathons, here! Whew! Damn, that Kagura! She really spreads herself around, doesn't she! Someone ought to slap her silly! LOL. The only thing that really grates my cheese: the page-long author notes at the beginning of each chapter. It's ALOT to sift through before getting to the story ... like having to snart your way through a pile of mashed potatoes before getting to the STEAK, ya know?
person vtchachi
schedule April 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Just Grind is up for *Best Lemon* from the Fanguild! Good luck and again, great job!
person Shrew
schedule April 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
nice turn of events dude -- i never saw this comeing ^.^ i can't wait until you update!!
person sadsoul
schedule April 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This has to be the best adult fan fiction I've ever read. The angst and the lemons are great, and this last chapter had me on pins and needles. How dare you end in a cliffie!!!! Update soon please
person Saphira
schedule April 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Kagura?.....Not that slut! *growls* This is all Sesshoumarus fault *runs after Fluffy with a sword* Keep up the great work!! *continues trying to kill Sesshy*
person Moon Dog
schedule April 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Okay answer first, reveiw 2nd. I first starte the whole internet-user-name-thing with neopets, where I created a bunch of different accounts. I was into the moon and sun back then, so I created the account, Sun Dog something. However that got shut down, so I switched over to Moondog, and added the 186 on. Next came my yahoo account, which I used the same name. After that, I joined lj, and Moon Dog, stuck. I used it for everything and the moon and dogs were what I loved long ago. Also after spending way too much time thinking, I realized that Moon Dog, could symbolize Sesshomaru or Inuyasha. Sess because of the dog factor, and cresent moon on his forehead. Inu, for the same thing, only at the new moon he becomes human. There fore, Moon Dog! Yeah I think too much. As for the 186, I just looked at my library card number, so that's where they came from.
Now for the review,
I love Sess's youkai! *Hugs youkai* Its your soul almost Sess, listen to it! Also I'm willing to back up on some of the punishment that Sess should have recieved. But only because he kicked Kagura's ass! Good for him! *dances* Also that bitch, Kag, better not fuck around with Rin or Kouga or Ayame. Yeah is Ayame pregnent? *pauses slightly only to twitch* I've been wondering it the whole the chapter, they'd have such cute kids! ^.^
person Happy anime fan
schedule April 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
That bitch! She's going to use Kouga to get to Rin! What about Ayame? I have a feeling that this is all going to blow up in Kagura's face. Will Sess. soon catch up with Rin? I hope so! I can't wait until you're next update!
person Ren
schedule April 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Ren here! Wai! Wai! I love the chapter, tee hee hee, I want to know what Rin is going to do with Sesshoumaru after what he did. Oh yes, I don't have a e-mail, gomen nasi, I wish I could talk to you, it's nice to have someone to talk to, but...my mother is afraid I'll turn out to be my sister. There so much pressure on me right now I want to scream blood murder! Then again...my mother is more worried for me, so I guess it can't, it was then I became the 'perfect girl' for my mother, but she never noticed...she always...somehow...always...forget me...it hurts...a lot. I sometimes wish I wasn't the middle child, you can be forgotten, and it's also because I'm loved by my father, my sisters always teased me saying, "Daddy's little girl..." but what they don't know is, I'm not. I don't get any special treatment what so ever, I have more standards to take up instead.

They don't want to understand for me, they are so into their own suffering world, they forget the one that is left behind and leave her out to dry. I guess it's not their fault, everyone is selfish sometimes, or not, all the time. I just want to be the one to understand for them though, I want to be there for them when they need me, that's why I learned how to control most of my emotion, the only one I have a hard time keeping in check is anger though. Tee hee hee, quite embarassing to say, but I'm sure glad at least I'm still some how intact with my emotions, it still helps me feel human in a way. I also now where a lot of white and black colors, not because I'm depress, okay yea I am, but it's also to always remind me, I am to ALWAYS be neutral, that way, everyone can be happy. In this family, I have to be neutral, in order to keep the order of the family, when one is sad, I'll be there, when one is alone, I want to help, when they get into a arguement, I want to be there to help them see both sides of the story...I want to guide them through life, be the person for them to come to when they need help and advice.

I want to help them, unlike me, I never had any, I guess that is why I was suicidal at the age of 5-8, no one knew, I had a bad attitude in school, teachers didn't help, they only made things worst. I am sorry for burdening you with my problems, but the way you write your story, it almost reminds me of how my life was, I really feel connected wtih you. I thank you a lot for answering my stupid long review also, I'm grateful that you took the time to read the stupid things in my life. It's nice to know there are still compassionate people in the world, my family never gave that to me, and never asked me, so I decided never to let them see that side of me. The one that is left in the deep parts of my heart, like Rin, I'm drowning, in the sea of sorrow, slowly falling deeper into myself, I've become very quiet lately, and do nothing but draw, sing, write and more things dealing with art. I always loved art, it made me feel like I can express myself, but then I want to show everyone what a beautiful world this is. I overhear many people talk about how bad their life is, how everything is wrong, so they take drugs and so other stupid things like get pregnant or make a girl pregnant. I want to help them see the world in a different perspective. One that can move them, make them feel the warmth, happiness, joy, and wonders of the world, I draw many things, I combine anime with realistic life to give my drawings a fantasy look, a look that can be one day fulfilled if one tries hard enough.

Words to my poems are sad, but they also contain truth, I wish to share one with you, if you are stiill reading this, this poem is call, Darkness of One's Heart...

Let the everlasting darkness envelop me...
Let the cold darkness fill my heart for all to see...
Let the light cease to exist...
Let life itself become a mist...

I can not see, what is beside me...
I can not hear, who I hold dear...
I can not feel, with my body and heels...
I can not speak, for I am too weak..
I can not smell, everything that once dwelled...

From somewhere I do not know...
From there a light wants to show...
For a light that wish to show,
it sure can be slow...

From where it came from,
I do not know nor do I care...
I do not dare...
From where I stand,
I will not enter the ligth with a hand...

Everything about it is warm,
and it promises to protect me from harm.
It is so bright,
that it is frightening...
I can feel this light help my senses heightening...

"No!" I cried as teh light pulls me in...
"I do not wish to return..." I whispered my sin.
A soothing voice whispers lovingly into my ear....
'It's so familiar,' I thought as I start to tear...

I feel a warm embarce from behind me...
I grew frustrated and shout, "Why can't you let me be?!?!"
But then the person whispered, "Because I love you....
I then smiled and embraced that person back and said,
"I love you too..."

~Ren

Tee hee hee, this is one heck of a long review, the longest I did yet, but I feel comfortable talking to you about it, none of my other favorite authors know about my life like this, so I hope you enjoy this poem. Truth is I'm only 15 turning 16 in August. I see the world in a much older point of view, I missed my childhood because that also...I wish I could have a childhood now that I think about it, I miss a lot of things greatly...but there is no time to think about that anymore. Life keeps moving so why not move with it, go through it as it guides you and pulls to different places, to new people and more. I don't wish to be depress all the time, this is the way I wish to live my life as a adult. My moral is, 'what happened in your life is not what mattered, what you do with it is what counts...' I want to stick to it to the very end, till my last breath. I thank you for the great story, it helped me explore that girl at the bottom of the ocean, it reminded me what I have to do, and what I need to do. I thank you so much, I don't know how to say it properly, you've done a great thing for me by writing this story, please continue it for me. I am a huge fan of yours, so please continue your great work and great chapters of this great story.

I'll be rooting for you, so please don't disappoint me, oh yes, if anyone of the reviewers think I am writing such a long review for attention, I just wanted to say, I am not, I only wish to express myself to this great author, and I advise every one to do so to. It helps the author obtain other great ideas since you are sharing your life to them. It helps them feel for your situation and gain your knowledge and wisdom that you have obtain in the situations you have been in, so if you all think I am annoying or stupid, I am sorry then. I just wish my author to know how grateful I am to have someone write a story that I can actually relate and feel deeply about...it's been 13 years since I last been able to talk, or in this case, type my soul out. I was always a quiet child, at birth I never talked, but ate instead, my mother thought I wasn't able to talk for a while too, it scared her to death. But this is not about me, I hope all the other reviewers have someone special in their life that they are able to talk to freely about anything that goes on in their life, because, right now for me, I'm grateful this author is currently that special person for me. I hope you all understand and if you do thank you very much, and if you don't, goment nasi....arigato again for the great update...
person DarkLady
schedule April 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
NO STOPING THERE UPDATE DAMNIT!