rate_review Reviews

Please finish this story.

Actually, no, it doesn't express stronger feelings. It's just confusing and plain annoying to people who don't know Japanese. I don't care if this turns out to be the hottest yaoi I've ever; if you scatter fluent Japanese sentences throughout it like that, I won't bother looking at it because I'll be getting dry and bored from strolling to the bottom just to understand what Sesshy said to Inu. -_-

First of all, if it says english, use mainly english! Don't use japanese fore most of it, that makes no sence at all, and it doesn't help to have the words translated at the end. Comon sence.Second of all, how much Inuyasha have you seen or read where the crap that fell out of Inuyasha's mouth works?! First of all Inuyasha wouldn't let that swill fall out of his mouth, especially not to Sesshomarou, and second, Sesshomarou would probably smack him up side the head with tokijin, before running his idiot ass through for saying that shit. THat's about as moving to his heart as it would get. I'm sorry, I know you probably put a lot of effore into this thing, but I simply am not seeing it. It has no flow, no plot, and can't even be called decent. You relied too much on the japanese to express your emotion when you should have been relying on words. English ones that discribe the emotion. Words are just words if not used properly, no matter what language it is in. This is honestly one of the poorest fanfictins I have come across.

Just to let you know, your japanese was very wrong, your grammar sucked, and you used the wrong phrazes. Not to mention, that in english you should write in english, not in Japanese, and it doesn't matter which laguage you write in, it's the way you use the word to decribe emotion that gives a sentence emotion, not the words themselves. You got very lazy, and dicided that writting in Japanese would solve your problem, and your english chapter was no better. Obviously you don't read or watch Inuyasha, because the shit that made spill forth from Inuyasha's mouth would have made him choke and gag, and Sesshomarou as well if he even was the least bit moved by that crap.Do a little research Baka, and know what anime your writting for, as well as what language you are butchering! I speak four differant languages, english and Japanese being my two main, thanks to my parents, and I nearly threw up looking at how badly you butchered the japanese. Not in all dialects could you have gotten your translations that fucking wrong, or your sentence structure that fucked up, and if you wanted to translate the shit, put in the scentence, not at the fucking bottom. Not that your translations were right, but damn. Put some effort into writting if your gonna do it, no one wants to read a half assed effort on an anime they happen to like. Sumimasen, demo you really need to understand that you aren't going to get great reviews by just spouting out a buch of shit, and hope it flies. Put some thought into what you write from now on.

WRITE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get rid of some of the Japanese phrases and maybe I'll actually come back to read this. It's far too difficult to get through when you are using obscure words here and there. There are alot of phrases that Otaku know and know well, but you've gone overboard. I can't really tell whether or not it's a good story.

Keep going I think it's great! FUCK THEM IF THEY DON'T LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Awesome so far! Hope you write more soon

Sorry, but a lot of your japanese is wrong.

please update soon!