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March 15, 2005 at 12:00 AM
whooo hoo a new chapter, I'm so happy. Loved the fact that in this story yasha's mom is alive, usually she is dead and there are only references to her. can't wait for the next chapter.
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March 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This is an awesome ass story-- you must write more!
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March 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
i miss your story
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March 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
i really like this story please update i really would like to know what happens.
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March 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hey hun. I finally got around to reading your story and I like it very much, but there are definately things you can work on to make it even better. So here are some tips:
Start out with less conflict: you have kagome the orphan, being abused by her mistress, and wrongly accused of a crime. Spend some time going back through those situations and examining each one... take some time explaining her status as an orphan and the reasons why her mistress dislikes her and that will set up a better understanding for the motive of the mistress to accuse her of a crime and sentance her to be hanged. The idea is good you just need a bit more depth.
Work on characterization: You explain kagome's inner feelings awsomely, but without an understanding of the other characters, especially the inserted characters who we (as fanfiction readers) do not already have a preconcieved idea for the story appears a bit rushed.
Awsome job with setting, and explaining character/place appearance. Don't forget to use all the senses when describing a scene (touch taste smell hear feel).
Good luck with the next chapter I will continue to read as it is an enjoyable story!!!
Start out with less conflict: you have kagome the orphan, being abused by her mistress, and wrongly accused of a crime. Spend some time going back through those situations and examining each one... take some time explaining her status as an orphan and the reasons why her mistress dislikes her and that will set up a better understanding for the motive of the mistress to accuse her of a crime and sentance her to be hanged. The idea is good you just need a bit more depth.
Work on characterization: You explain kagome's inner feelings awsomely, but without an understanding of the other characters, especially the inserted characters who we (as fanfiction readers) do not already have a preconcieved idea for the story appears a bit rushed.
Awsome job with setting, and explaining character/place appearance. Don't forget to use all the senses when describing a scene (touch taste smell hear feel).
Good luck with the next chapter I will continue to read as it is an enjoyable story!!!
schedule
March 1, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I like it!!!! PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!!!!! Thanks.
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March 1, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Great story! Love it. Please update soon!
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February 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
ooh wow I missed this story and since I was backtracking I managed to find this, glad I did, I like it, it sounds interesting and has a pretty good plot line I havent seen before, I really hope you update soon, since I havent seen it up before or recently I am assuming it hasnt been updated in awhile, I hope you continue, I would like to see where this is going, till then be safe well and happy, much huggles and smiles Mija....:-)
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February 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Update soon, its a very good start to a very intersting story.
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February 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
ooooooh, i really like this fic so far! You write really well (except for some site errors I assume, but i really could care less) and the story line is great. I really fucking want to see inuyasha dance like that omg. sexxxxxy. please update soon! I'm really looking forward to what you come up with next!