AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for She Was The First

by RoswelliatMistMistress

person hugh_pym
schedule December 14, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I think you need to expand on the first chapter. It jumps about quite a bit too. Good start though.
person Zelinko
schedule October 11, 2004 at 12:00 AM
You aren't getting reviews as your first chapter was horrible... remake it or make a second one that is longer and better written.