AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Final decision

by xxfantasyxx

person Anon
schedule July 11, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
person bettychan
schedule September 11, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Not to bad for a first story. But I think you could put a little more narve ave and detail into it. That alone would make the chapters longer, and more interesting to read. As they are now, they are mainly just the conversations. I also noticed some spelling and grammer mistakes.
But keep going, I think this could be a great story with just a little more work.
person Zelix
schedule September 4, 2004 at 12:00 AM
First one huh? You should make chapters longer and add more detail... other than that, instinsting start, sadly though i must say i don't have high hopes for this one but i'll check it from time to time as it proceeds and tell you more then.
person Jen
schedule September 4, 2004 at 12:00 AM
i like it please wrote soon