schedule
September 2, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Wow, this is a pretty good start for a fic :D It surely has alot of potential, if you work your talent well. Just a few things that might be good to concider:
1) Try to make your chapters longer. It might seem bothersome [not to mention extremely hard], writting long chapters, but your readers will appreciate, and you'll have alot more reviews ^__^ [ and everyone likes reviews, ne? ]
2) Maybe a bit more description would help, no? I loved the detailed description of Sessh and Rin's surroundings in the beginning of the fic! It would be wonderul if the rest of your story was written in such a fashion.
3) Perhaps explaining how Rin felt during the eleven years she passed without her Lord, and how she reacted to being with her own kind again? ^^
Well, besides that, this is a great fic :D! I hope you continue it, and perhaps take a few of the things listed above in concideration. Be assured that I'll check back from time to time to check if you added new chapters :3 And I'll read them, of course -^^-
Luvu-
Talis <3!
[Ps: I am inlove with the title of this fic. 'Red Snow'...hm, it just sounds so pretty :3 ]
1) Try to make your chapters longer. It might seem bothersome [not to mention extremely hard], writting long chapters, but your readers will appreciate, and you'll have alot more reviews ^__^ [ and everyone likes reviews, ne? ]
2) Maybe a bit more description would help, no? I loved the detailed description of Sessh and Rin's surroundings in the beginning of the fic! It would be wonderul if the rest of your story was written in such a fashion.
3) Perhaps explaining how Rin felt during the eleven years she passed without her Lord, and how she reacted to being with her own kind again? ^^
Well, besides that, this is a great fic :D! I hope you continue it, and perhaps take a few of the things listed above in concideration. Be assured that I'll check back from time to time to check if you added new chapters :3 And I'll read them, of course -^^-
Luvu-
Talis <3!
[Ps: I am inlove with the title of this fic. 'Red Snow'...hm, it just sounds so pretty :3 ]
schedule
August 31, 2004 at 12:00 AM
great start. plz write more soon!
schedule
August 31, 2004 at 12:00 AM
It's off to a good start. The premise isn't exactly original, but you've taken the idea and made it your own. I did run across a few spelling errors, though, and when you change speakers, you should always start a new paragraph. Otherwise, the reader gets confused as to who's speaking. A valiant effort though. I gave you four stars. Spellcheck and fix the thing with the jumble of quotation marks, and I'll give a 5.
schedule
August 31, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Wow!! I like your story a lot so far I cant wait till you update to see what happens and what Sesshy will do so please update soon!!!
sesshomarusgirl56
sesshomarusgirl56
schedule
August 31, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I like it so far....I don't know why someone gave you two stars this story deserves five.........update soon.....I can't wait for more....