AFF Fiction Portal
schedule May 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Try not to use said to often. Try using a thesaurus, find better words then 'said'.
schedule May 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Grrr... I want an update soon...
person .....................
schedule May 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
sorry but ur story fucking sucks
person ......................
schedule May 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
i think u could do better it just that ur story is not very detailed enough
person koraru
schedule September 2, 2004 at 12:00 AM
the story is not very detailed
person Anon
schedule August 31, 2004 at 12:00 AM
my GOD. your lack of gramatical skills tourtures me. please. go back to 6th grade. maybe you will learn that when you have a new person saying something, you always start a new paragraph. See below:

Kagome said, "Sango, you're right, I do like InuYasha"

"See, that wasnt so bad," replied Sango.

PLEASE proofread your story, then re-post. i like the story line.
person inuyashagirl
schedule August 31, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I will tonight and I should have it back up by friday or Sunday night, I hope. Cause I haven't have time to proof read it. with school and homework all the time. So thats for the idea. And tell me if I have any more mistakes, cause this is my first story, and it took me alot of time to write it. So keep review and reading it and telll me if I did something wrong!!!!

Thanks alot!!!!

Inuyashagirl
person KikiAnn1RosEl1Derf2
schedule August 30, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Cute, very cute please continue it's getting good.
schedule August 15, 2004 at 12:00 AM
hey yall, please review my story!!!!!!!!!!!!
schedule August 11, 2004 at 12:00 AM
so good so far!!1