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December 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hey! this story is great i got hooked on the very first chapter!! Please update soon its been soo long since u updated!! I know that all of your other readers want you to update soooon!!!! I look forword to your next update because i know just like your other chapters it going to be great! Just like your other readers I can't wait! Keep on writing because you are a great writer!
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November 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
heeeey sup? =P when r u gonna write the next chapter?!?!?!
i'v been waiting 4 such a LONG TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
byeeeee!!!
i'v been waiting 4 such a LONG TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
byeeeee!!!
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November 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Thank you so much for this story, I really enjoy reading it. Your characters are very believable and I hope you continue writing.
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October 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I've liked your story so far. It's just this chapter. This chapter, as well as the one before it, was a little... well, not so good. There have also been a few mistakes (as far as spelling and grammar). Like in this chapter you called Kazou, Yazou. Maybe you want to get a beta to look over your chapters before you submit them?
Another thing: Throughout the story you've sometimes (though more now) omitted putting the actual name(s) of the characters when they speak, think or act. Instead you've written 'she', 'he', 'him' and 'her'. I ignored it previously because it wasn't that big of a deal (and I thought someone would have already mentioned it to you - you'd fix it), but now that there are more characters it makes reading the chapters a bit confusing/annoying. You have to pay more attention to who is saying or doing something, rather than what is being said or done. For example: You wrote, "Kazuo was stunned when he saw her, he felt her presence as he sat upon his mountain, it was so strong and unique he had to come and lay his eyes upon the source. She stood in front of him in beautiful winter colors while her hair was done in the most elegant style complementing her beautiful face further if it were possible..." We know that Kazou is the one that's thinking all of this, but it wouldn't hurt to put his, or Kagome's name in there once in a while.
Anyway, like I said, I enjoy stories with this plot. They're not that common. But I guess I keep reading. Hope it gets better.
~Animefreak242
aka
Kawaii Girl
Another thing: Throughout the story you've sometimes (though more now) omitted putting the actual name(s) of the characters when they speak, think or act. Instead you've written 'she', 'he', 'him' and 'her'. I ignored it previously because it wasn't that big of a deal (and I thought someone would have already mentioned it to you - you'd fix it), but now that there are more characters it makes reading the chapters a bit confusing/annoying. You have to pay more attention to who is saying or doing something, rather than what is being said or done. For example: You wrote, "Kazuo was stunned when he saw her, he felt her presence as he sat upon his mountain, it was so strong and unique he had to come and lay his eyes upon the source. She stood in front of him in beautiful winter colors while her hair was done in the most elegant style complementing her beautiful face further if it were possible..." We know that Kazou is the one that's thinking all of this, but it wouldn't hurt to put his, or Kagome's name in there once in a while.
Anyway, like I said, I enjoy stories with this plot. They're not that common. But I guess I keep reading. Hope it gets better.
~Animefreak242
aka
Kawaii Girl
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October 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Your story was great!! Keep up the good work!!!
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October 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
good
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October 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
hey, a few mistakes, but excellent story! ^^
please tell me when uve updated
kiara not kilala lol i burst out laughing !!!
congrats on the awsome story again!!
please tell me when uve updated
kiara not kilala lol i burst out laughing !!!
congrats on the awsome story again!!
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September 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
an update would just about make my life, been waiting since, well forever, i know u have a life and all so whenever u can at least let us know whats oging on? WE LOVE U
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September 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I hope you continue with this story. I've really enjoyed it and you have a unique story telling ability.
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August 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I have read all 23 chapters. I love this story. You slowly gave Sesssome emotions and allowed Kagome to grow. This is an enthralling read and I hope you can write some more very soon.
My thanks to you for a wonderful story.
My thanks to you for a wonderful story.