rate_review Reviews

That was very much like another story I read; but I guess the idea is quite popular. I liked your version, though. Nicely written! Also, I loved the song pick!

L.A. (Author of The Matchmaker)

Very nice. A very romantic/bittersweet tale. Good job, keep it up!

awsome great brought tears tomy eyes fabulous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep itup

so sad.

Hmmm...this sounds suspiciously like another fic I have read. Though youe one one major problem in this story that I just can NOT overlook. A baby's heart does noat uat until WEEKS into growth. It is impossible that in the five minutes after sex, Inu's sperm has found Kag's egg, fused and created a fetus. I can overlook some medical liberties but not this one.

Tir

This is a very poorly written copy of another Inuyasha fanfic that is located right here on AFF.net. In my opinion, the similarities are too glaringly apparent for this to be just a coincidence. If you are going to copy someone else's idea, at least have the decency to give them credit for the idea. I can't technically call you a plagiarist since it is not a word-for-word copy, but I still think you are a copycat.

such a sweet little story

That was a sad st It It was well written. Keep it up.

This fic reminds me a lot of a fic done by DelKaidin entitled "Goodbyes". Now I won't say that you out and out plagarized from her fic, but the story line is similar and there are some parts that almost identical to her fic. "Goodbye" is an extremely well known fic along with its epliogue "Hello Again" if you did by chance get inspired from reading "Goodbye" or "Hello Again" then you need to give credit where credit is due.

Not only is this fic a poor rendition of a fic by a very talented writer, you obviously aren't eno enough to quite understand the mechanics of intercourse and conception. Conception does not happen instantly as soon as the male ejaculates, it takes time. While Inuyasha maybhanyhanyou and have a range of extremely sensitive senses there is no way that he could "hear" the baby's heart beat BEFORE he pulled out of her! The intercourse scene was poorly written and done in a somewhat crude manner. Among other things...

Next time you decide to write a fic I recommend that you come up with your own storyline and that you take your time and complete some research regarding the mechanics of conception. I also suggest that if you are underage or have yet to experience intercourse yourself that you also educate yourself in the proper workings of that area. I might suggest that you pick up a few romance novels from your local library and take some notes on the love scenes. BUT do NOT plagarize from those books either!

I would hope that you take this as a learning experience and try to better yourself as a writer. There are those of us in the reading community of AFF that take offense to issues such as this and you will be watched in the future for further "borrowing" of other authors fics.

Sincerely,

A Concerned Reader

I'll have to agree with some of your other reviewers this story is very familiar to another story, two actually. Seems you heavily borrowed from them. However that is not the reason for the review... There is no way that Inuyasha would hear the heartbeat five minutes or less after intercourse. It can take up to two weeks for the sperm to travel to the egg and fertilit ant and implant in the uterus. Then the nervous system is the first organ to develop. The heart doesn't develop until around week six. For reference view this site: http://www.w-cpc.org/fetal.html - It will make your stories more enjoyable if you don't shock the readers with such glaring errors.