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June 16, 2004 at 12:00 AM
im lovthisthis story!! 1 thing though i dont think ya should have a three some with kagome. but hay this story still rocks!!
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June 16, 2004 at 12:00 AM
im so excited about this fic!! i love it!! but i do agree with kou/inu! i think it should stay just kouga and inuyasha!! I LOVE THIS FIC!!! plz update soon!!
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June 16, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I wonder how Inuyasha and Kouga are going to explain what they were doing to Kagome? How will she react when they do tell her that they decided to be mates?update soon
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June 15, 2004 at 12:00 AM
more!!!! must have more of the story! maybe something like: Kagome catches them or something..maybe put Ayame in it too? lovin the fic so far, so pwease continue it
-saiyan-
-saiyan-
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June 14, 2004 at 12:00 AM
You really should incorporate Kagome into the fanfic next time. Or Koga and Inuyasha getting caught by Kagome, and she joins in. Or someone else catches them. It would add the element of Koga/Inuyasha trying to stop the person who caught them at it, from telling anyone else and revealing their love-affair.
You're pretty good at doing this, and the more you make of this fanfic, the better you can get at doing it.
You're pretty good at doing this, and the more you make of this fanfic, the better you can get at doing it.
schedule
May 31, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Hi Nina!!
This is Christy's daughter. You asked me for my personal opinion on your story since I do write Yaoi and Douji I' I'm a little rusty because I havn't written in so long, but I'll try my best to help you out on your fanfiction.
~ ~ ~ ~
Well, I do love your story! I like how in the beggining you described how Inuyasha was laying, his pouty look which I adore so much.
-Parts You Need To Work On-
In this statement, or sentence, whichever, you don't end it with a punctuation mark like you had in the beggining. So a reader for example might think he's thinking more things than you want him to.
Inuyasha’s nose twitched. ‘What the hell is that scent? Oh… shit…, he’s not getting embarrassed or flustered he’s getting… aroused? Shit! Me and my dumb ideas.'
Same thing Here
Inuyasha was tramping through the forest sulking. ‘I can’t believe Kagome’s mom dragged her off to a family reunion for four days! What in the hell am I supposed to do now? I can’t hunt for shards. There is no way I’ll sit around and watch that perverted monk get slapped or hit over the head by Sango or li to to the little rflapflap his jaws about nothing for the next four days.'
I don't know if you ment this one to be like it is, but I'll show it to you just to check:
‘"This is not happening; this is just not happening. Shit!!! Why does that stupid flea-bitten wolf have to show up now?"’ He said grumbling under his breathe.
Wouldn't those be Quotation marks instead of the ' '?
That's about all I can find in the first chapter!
~ ~ ~ ~
-Parts that I loved-
And with that comical thought in mind Inuyasha got out of the water and sauntered over towards a very amused wolf prince.
Placing an absolutely adorable pout on his face, he said in a hurt tone, “It wasn’t that funny wolf boy”.
That was just priceless. You sucked me into it! I could -picture- Inuyasha pouting and then sauntering over to Kouga in his little cocky ass way!
All your discription has gotten me fascinated! I love reading your stories and you NEED to keep writing and roleplaying. Right now I'm roleplaying SessyxInu with Christy. *Winky*
Always,
Kamui.
Kisses and Hugs!
I do love your fic, it's very detailed, semi-romantic, and funny at the same time. I don't laugh a lot, but I had to snicker and giggle at certain times, or just grin dumbly as I stare at the words on the page before me. *Chuckles*
This is Christy's daughter. You asked me for my personal opinion on your story since I do write Yaoi and Douji I' I'm a little rusty because I havn't written in so long, but I'll try my best to help you out on your fanfiction.
~ ~ ~ ~
Well, I do love your story! I like how in the beggining you described how Inuyasha was laying, his pouty look which I adore so much.
-Parts You Need To Work On-
In this statement, or sentence, whichever, you don't end it with a punctuation mark like you had in the beggining. So a reader for example might think he's thinking more things than you want him to.
Inuyasha’s nose twitched. ‘What the hell is that scent? Oh… shit…, he’s not getting embarrassed or flustered he’s getting… aroused? Shit! Me and my dumb ideas.'
Same thing Here
Inuyasha was tramping through the forest sulking. ‘I can’t believe Kagome’s mom dragged her off to a family reunion for four days! What in the hell am I supposed to do now? I can’t hunt for shards. There is no way I’ll sit around and watch that perverted monk get slapped or hit over the head by Sango or li to to the little rflapflap his jaws about nothing for the next four days.'
I don't know if you ment this one to be like it is, but I'll show it to you just to check:
‘"This is not happening; this is just not happening. Shit!!! Why does that stupid flea-bitten wolf have to show up now?"’ He said grumbling under his breathe.
Wouldn't those be Quotation marks instead of the ' '?
That's about all I can find in the first chapter!
~ ~ ~ ~
-Parts that I loved-
And with that comical thought in mind Inuyasha got out of the water and sauntered over towards a very amused wolf prince.
Placing an absolutely adorable pout on his face, he said in a hurt tone, “It wasn’t that funny wolf boy”.
That was just priceless. You sucked me into it! I could -picture- Inuyasha pouting and then sauntering over to Kouga in his little cocky ass way!
All your discription has gotten me fascinated! I love reading your stories and you NEED to keep writing and roleplaying. Right now I'm roleplaying SessyxInu with Christy. *Winky*
Always,
Kamui.
Kisses and Hugs!
I do love your fic, it's very detailed, semi-romantic, and funny at the same time. I don't laugh a lot, but I had to snicker and giggle at certain times, or just grin dumbly as I stare at the words on the page before me. *Chuckles*
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May 30, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Omg! that was a totally hot and sexy fan fic. I thought that it was great and I hope you continue it. I honestly prefer yaoi but if you want Kagome to join the mix I'm sure that it'll be awesome. You're a great writer. Hope to see more of your work! Danni
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May 28, 2004 at 12:00 AM
UR FIRST FIC?!?!?!? WHOA!!! ur soo good xD plez write more i am luvin dis story ^-^
((add kagome in dis nxt wun!!!!))
((add kagome in dis nxt wun!!!!))
schedule
May 27, 2004 at 12:00 AM
ummmm...that was FABULOUS!!!!! Yes, please continue with the story. I, personally, would prefer it to be Kagome-less (she can be annoying at times, ne?), but do what you feel; you obviously have great instincts for it.
Also, thank you for supplying me with Inuyasha yaoi. This is a category that is woefully underdeveloped, and you have made my search worth the while. THANK YOU!
Also, thank you for supplying me with Inuyasha yaoi. This is a category that is woefully underdeveloped, and you have made my search worth the while. THANK YOU!
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May 26, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Man...this was one hella good story!
The details you put into it and their feelings were totally amazing.
It would be a wish come true if you would continue with this story and bring Keg into it like it mentioned at the end. And or throw in a twist and maybe let that lecherous monk get involved too. Who knows, maybe Keg could get really upset that her Inu and the wolf got involved and as she and Sango are discussing it, decide to find out for themselves what it's like to be one someone of the same sex?
But I'm rambling. :P
Anywho, your story kicked some major assage. Plz write morech mch more!
Thankies, Lei
The details you put into it and their feelings were totally amazing.
It would be a wish come true if you would continue with this story and bring Keg into it like it mentioned at the end. And or throw in a twist and maybe let that lecherous monk get involved too. Who knows, maybe Keg could get really upset that her Inu and the wolf got involved and as she and Sango are discussing it, decide to find out for themselves what it's like to be one someone of the same sex?
But I'm rambling. :P
Anywho, your story kicked some major assage. Plz write morech mch more!
Thankies, Lei