schedule
May 17, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I think you have an interesting plot line. The only thing that's confusing is the lack of quotation marks in the dialogue "abc" and the formatting is kind of off on this site... Oh, and the japanese word for grandfather is spelt 'jiisan.' That and a few other minor spelling errors... Also, if you don't already have help I wouldn't mind editing your chapters. E-mail me if you're interested and if not then I'll just look forward to reading the next chapter. ^_^
-ENEYS
-ENEYS