rate_review Reviews

sweety!! punchuation!!!! please!!!! "" <-- those things are ment to seperate what people say from the naritive..a bit confusing but no smut!!! that makes me sad

Punctuate, i hardly undertsand what're u ritin!

Nice story why not continue? Im straving to know more

First off you need to work on our spelling. It helps your readers read your stories more smoothly if you can spell correctly. Also read thourgh your writing a couple of timeoud oud before posting it. That way you can make sure it all flows together well. Basically have some read your writing before you post it so you can get their advice. As for the characters Jakken is a toad demon. Not a frog demon. As for Sesshoumaru, he seems a little OOC. I can't really imaging the Lord of the Western Lands, allowing his anyone to just barge in his private quarters. Rin, is done better but remember she's 18. Not seven so she should be some what mature. Other than that, this is a good beginning, just change a few things thats all. One last thing, could you possibly make the 2nd chapter a little longer? Thanks
-Moon Dog