schedule
July 24, 2008 at 12:00 AM
i really like this bc its dark and angsty plz update soon and continue this! it is amazing!
schedule
October 19, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story alot. Can you write some more chapters?
schedule
September 28, 2004 at 12:00 AM
OH my!! PLEASE UPDATE THIS STORY ASAP!!!!!!!!!
schedule
September 17, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Your work is good, but you DO need a beta, and I volunteer! Actually... I liked this story so much that I saved it and corrected it... so I've already got a corrected version. Email me if ya need my help!
schedule
September 17, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Me again :)
Don't listen to Week Darden. Yes, there are spelling and grammar errors, but because you've recognized that you're halfway there to solving your problem. Your characterization is excellent. Your descriptions are top-notch, and you have a true talent for weaving a darkly tantalizing tale.
There are NO problems with your tense usage. I repeat: NO problems with your tense usage. Apparently, Darden has a problem recognizing sentence structures more complex twhatwhat they taught in elementary school. If he would re-ryouryour story and take notice of just the subjects and verbs, ignoring the modifiers, he would notice that they're all in PAST tense.
*sigh* I'm sorry, but I have a problem with people who like to point out mistakes where there are none. It's hard enough posting your work on a public forum where anyone anywhere can subject it to his scrutiny without someone trying to make himself feel important by pointing out the fic's shortcomings and none of its strengths. The key to good critiquing is to point out the good along with the bad, starting off with what the author did well then working into what needs improvement, and, sadly, some people just don't get it.
If you're looking for a good beta, I humbly suggest Auroremne. She helps over the tough spots in my fics, and I DO have a college degree--two of them, in fact.
Just keep doing what you do, and you'll do well--theMaven :)
Don't listen to Week Darden. Yes, there are spelling and grammar errors, but because you've recognized that you're halfway there to solving your problem. Your characterization is excellent. Your descriptions are top-notch, and you have a true talent for weaving a darkly tantalizing tale.
There are NO problems with your tense usage. I repeat: NO problems with your tense usage. Apparently, Darden has a problem recognizing sentence structures more complex twhatwhat they taught in elementary school. If he would re-ryouryour story and take notice of just the subjects and verbs, ignoring the modifiers, he would notice that they're all in PAST tense.
*sigh* I'm sorry, but I have a problem with people who like to point out mistakes where there are none. It's hard enough posting your work on a public forum where anyone anywhere can subject it to his scrutiny without someone trying to make himself feel important by pointing out the fic's shortcomings and none of its strengths. The key to good critiquing is to point out the good along with the bad, starting off with what the author did well then working into what needs improvement, and, sadly, some people just don't get it.
If you're looking for a good beta, I humbly suggest Auroremne. She helps over the tough spots in my fics, and I DO have a college degree--two of them, in fact.
Just keep doing what you do, and you'll do well--theMaven :)
schedule
September 16, 2004 at 12:00 AM
this is a great fanfic please update soon
schedule
September 16, 2004 at 12:00 AM
that was good update soon
schedule
September 16, 2004 at 12:00 AM
You have grammar errors throughout the entire chapter. You have many
spelling errors which could be easily corrected with a spell check. The grammar
errors will take more effort on your part. You are going to have to decide whether
to write in present tense or past tense.
The woman leaned forward licking the hot wound, making Sesshoumaru throw his head back once more,
moaning as he arched towards her. The very sound of his husky declaration of pleasure made Rin dizzy
and caused her nipples to harden almost painfully.
That small sample right there is riddled with you going past/present tense. It makes for a confusing read
and detracts from any pleasure one might receive from your story.
My advice to you would be to get a beta reader/editor. Preferably one who has attended college or is in the process
of doing so.
Good luck.
spelling errors which could be easily corrected with a spell check. The grammar
errors will take more effort on your part. You are going to have to decide whether
to write in present tense or past tense.
The woman leaned forward licking the hot wound, making Sesshoumaru throw his head back once more,
moaning as he arched towards her. The very sound of his husky declaration of pleasure made Rin dizzy
and caused her nipples to harden almost painfully.
That small sample right there is riddled with you going past/present tense. It makes for a confusing read
and detracts from any pleasure one might receive from your story.
My advice to you would be to get a beta reader/editor. Preferably one who has attended college or is in the process
of doing so.
Good luck.
schedule
September 16, 2004 at 12:00 AM
oh my.....
i love sess/rin fics and ilike how he took control
i love sess/rin fics and ilike how he took control
schedule
September 16, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Hey, I'd love to beta for you! I love BDSM! If you'd like to know more about me my email is ShadowCat3013@aol.com.
Ja Ne,
Mackenzie
Ja Ne,
Mackenzie